Is it too late?
My wife and I were both single parents when we got together 18 years ago. Her Daughter is 24 has never had a job. My wife doesn't cook clean or work and thats semi-ok with me because she has been so good to me. Her and her daughter are inseparable and her daughter has been cold and argumentative lately as for about a year my wife has pulled away.
I was angry at our daughter for getting between us. I didnt want to get yelled at by both of them so I left threatening divorce. My wife hardly put up a fight. I convinced her to take me back. I now realize it's not my daughter's fault her aggression is a symptom of the problem. A problem I fear is too complex and far gone to fix.
@keylessMap638
I think your issues have been a longtime avoiding the problem... being semi-ok with something or just tolerating behavior is not going to work for the long run. Maybe her daughter needs to leave the nest and get a Job and start her life.
Boundaries were never set or ignored so long. If you want a life that you are happy noy being semi ok. You should encourage wife to see she is not helping her daughter by letting her fail to launch. you should both share what you want out of the marriage, set boundaries like expectation of cleaning and being a partner. Habits are hard to change if we let things go so long