Is she too clingy and needy or am i in the wrong
Okay I understand my girl is upset because we never play online together on ps4. One time she’d been asking me to play for like 2-3 months maybe. I told her “well I’m on with my friend”. and she used to be like “okay, that’s fine. we can play another day” and then she would ask again and I would say the same, she’d say the same. Then I would say “well I’m on with my friends but I can get on with you after?” And she would say “well no that’s okay. I don’t want to make you stop playing with your friends” I would say “ok” and she would get upset with me, which confused me. She told me that when she said “no, that’s okay I don’t want to make you stop playing with your friends” that she wanted me to say “no it’s okay, I’ll play with you since we haven’t played in about a few weeks”, which was so confusing. Then we finally played a game and she was so excited and talkative but I didn’t talk much on the game, then she got upset and said she was going to get off. I said “ok” then got on the game with my friend. She texted me that she was really hurt that after not playing for 3 months, to play a game where I didn’t even talk or seem excited to play with her that she didn’t want to play anymore with me. I apologized to her. Before 2 weeks ago, we have played about 3-4 times the entire year of 2023. I played with her 2 weeks ago about 2 times because I said i would try more to play with her. I apologized for putting my friends first. She was sick last week and called into work, so she texted me early in the morning to see if I wanted to play. I told her yes but let me wake up a little more since it was so early. Then my friends asked me to get on so around 4ish, I texted her to tell her I was getting on with friends and that I’d get on with her after. She got *** off with me and said “yeah but I asked you first? why do I have be the one that has to wait to play late at night?” we still got on and had fun. but we haven’t played this entire week or weekend. she went out of town and just about an hour ago she texts me to see if I want to get on the game but I’m playing with friends thst I haven’t played with since 2018. I said “can we play tomorrow, I’m on with old friends” she said “okay” and I responded “ok” but then she said “actually, you know what, no. I don’t want to play tomorrow. Ask me sometime next week because I don’t appreciate you scheduling me to fit into your schedule when you’re free after playing with your friends. I don’t think it’s fair that you’ve been playing with your friends all weekend and know I was coming home today from being out of town. I thought you’d get on with me.” And I said “yes but these are different friends, though. They’re my old ones” and she said “you could have asked me earlier before I was comibg back into town. You could have said ‘hey, I know we haven’t played much and I know you’re coming into town, did you want to play today?’ I don’t even want to ask you if you want to play anymore because I hear this all the time and it makes me feel dumb that I know I might hear it but yet I still ask. So I guess just ask me if you ever wanna play with me again. I’m done asking.” But I played with her about twice or three times last week.
@honestPark1233 Bro it ain’t rocket science! Your girl wants to come first. She wants your ATTENTION. If you focus on the details, the “facts” of who said what to who and that she got upset when she said it was ok that YET AGAIN you chose your friends over her, then you’ll stay confused. If you want her to stay your girl you’ll give her enough attention that she feels like she really matters to you.
@FlatenedByLife but I played with her last weekend and last Monday. She can’t expect me to always play with her, right?
@honestPark1233 You’re arguing facts. This is about emotions. She is telling you what you’re doing isn’t enough. So even though you are clearly stepping up and playing a game or two, you’re still “behind” in showing her that she is important to you. It’s kind of like if I’m late with the rent. If I’m 3 months behind in my rent, the landlord will be happy I paid this months rent, but what about the other 3 still missing. It sounds like your girl wants to be cool with what you’re giving her, but as soon as she gives you a “pass” she regrets it. Just make a bigger effort to show her attention.
@FlatenedByLife
Amazing explanation! We need more ppl like you to explain how life works! Appreciation!
@FlatenedByLife she told me “I also dont have anyone to play with. You have your friends. This is why I’m not on my game system much. I don’t have anyone.. I almost sold my ps4 because nobody ever wants to get on with me. But I kept it in case I wanna play games by myself, like new games.” And I said “what happened to your friends” and she said “they don’t get on anymore but it shouldn’t matter if they do or not. I don’t want to only play one day or two out of an entire month when you play with your friends every night in that month. I want to be important too.”
@honestPark1233
I think you missed the point.that he was saying. She wants your attention and won't stop until she has enough of it. She likes you and that's why she wants your attention. However, the easiest way for her to exit your life is if you don't give her the attention she needs.
@honestPark1233
I think she is not being clear with you .........or you are not seeing she thinks if you are going to be playing a game she wants it to be with her not your friends ....
it is not about the game but instead her wanting as much of your time as she can.... she knows you play with others and perhaps talking to them and she somehow thinks if you both were playing you would have more conversations etc. you should have a conversation with her about what time is yours and what time is couple time.