Is there something wrong with me?
Me and my partner been dating for 11 years now, and this past year we been fighting more than ever. It's been mostly because of our communication. I have a hard time talking about my feelings with him, I just feel stupid or I don't want another fight to break out and when he talks about his I get fumming inside and just get right mad with myself , anything that comes out of my mouth sounds rude because I'm so angry with myself. I'm just lost at this point and feeling completely drained . Can't seem to catch a break. Iv even told him how much I really don't like myself and aren't you supose to love yourself before you can love anybody else ?
You're not abnormal, confrontation is difficult for a lot of us, maybe when we tried in our past to communicate, we weren't heard or deliberately misunderstood?
I think before an argument arises, while your calm and he is too, just sit him down and say, We've been together for a long time and you should know by now, how difficult it is to express myself.
It's overwhelming in the moment and I can't think straight, which ends up frustrating me. It's important for both of us, to share how we feel and be supported..
So before our next disagreement, I'd like us to practice something new, I'd like you to be patient with me, so I can step away, have a moment to decompress and write down exactly how I'm feeling and what I want to convey to you, in my own carefully thought out way.
Then we can face each other and either read it together, or I can tell you without interruption, my point of view and any other things that pop into my head.
@sunnyCat7237
Communication is vital for a relationship. I wish I had learned that earlier in my communication with partner sounded much like yours and I often said things that sounded or were rude.
The thing I learned many years into a relationship was liking or loving myself as is certainly helps being able to maintain a relationship and like or love someone else. I changed my relationship with myself. I like/ love who I am more now than I did for decades. It is never too late for improvement.
It was an adjustment for my partner as some people just assume we will stay the same person and when I liked myself i had more confidence and openly shared more and they felt it was a challenge as they needed to step up their communication too.
