I think I’m attached and I want to stop!
I’ve been friends with a guy for two months and I think I’m having feelings for him. And what made it complicated for me to stay friends with him was that we slept together. The feelings for him are increasing more and more that I had to stop talking to him for a few days so things can cool down and we can be casual friends again. I watched a video stating that if I want to get serious, I have to address it at the beginning of the relationship. But I don’t want to. I don’t want to screw up everything we had. If I ask him if he wants to be serious, that could ruin our friendship. I’ve also been through an experience of having someone not wanting a relationship and I just recovered from it and I don’t want to go through the same pain again. We have really great communication and we’re doing fine being casual right now. Or if I were to ask him, I want to wait at least another month or wait until he brings it up.
I just want someone to vent to about this right now because I feel crazy and I don’t know if I feel this because I genuinely have feelings for him or if it’s just attachment because he treated me with respect.
Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this. I appreciate you. ❤️
@Lostgirlie
It sounds like you’re feeling really conflicted right now, and it’s completely understandable given the situation. When you have feelings for someone and have been intimate with them, it can create a lot of confusion about what those feelings actually mean. It’s perfectly normal to feel uncertain about whether your emotions are about genuine affection or attachment.
Your concern about potentially altering the friendship by discussing the possibility of a serious relationship shows how much you value the connection you have. It’s important to give yourself the time you need to reflect and see how your feelings evolve. Waiting a bit longer might help you gain clarity on what you truly want and how you feel about continuing things as they are.
Given your past experiences, it’s completely normal to want to avoid more heartache. Prioritizing your own emotional well-being is crucial. If the person you care about genuinely values and respects you, they will be open to having a conversation about the future of your relationship. If they’re not willing to discuss this, it could be a sign that they may not be as invested or caring as you need them to be.
While it might be painful in the short term to confront these feelings or face the possibility that things might not work out as you hope, this honesty is ultimately for your own good. It will help you find the clarity you need and ensure you’re in a relationship that truly supports your needs and well-being in the long run. Taking care of yourself and your emotional health is the most important thing right now.
Ultimately, trust yourself to make the right decision for your own well-being. Your feelings are important, and it’s essential to prioritize what will make you feel secure and respected. You’re handling a challenging situation with thoughtfulness and care, and that’s commendable.
If you want to talk more, please feel free to share futher thoughts, feelings or experience. We're here for you.
Take care.
