I think my mental health is ruining my relationship

Ive been with my boyfriend almost 7 years now. When we first started dating i was anxious 24/7 but believed it was normal and i was managing with my day to day life relatively well.

I started at my apprenticeship and slowly began spiralling until i was having visible panic attacks almost daily - prior to this i had very few visible panic attacks and most were at night when i was alone.

He convinced me to get help from the doctors etc which led me to being medicated. All went well i got into the habit of taking them consistently then started mixing up my anti depressants for my birth control and vice versus which messed me up. I started forgetting to take one or the other.

Because i didnt experience anything ‘bad’ from forgetting i lost my habit (its so easy for me to lose habits). I still havent managed to pick the habit back up almost three years

Ultimately i keep spiralling again and struggling with simply existing, normal easy tasks become so difficult. While im watching him operate like a normal human, hes tried helping show me how ‘easy’ it is to do the same thing but its really not.

In my really bad periods i struggle with things touching me because everything just feels wrong. Its too rough and itchy or too soft and suffocating theres very few things that are deemed okay during that time, but everytime it happens he says the same thing, that im avoiding his hugs or any kisses and its making him think i dont want to be with him anymore. - ive explained what it is countless times but it still always happens.

When i cant regulate whats happening in my life i lose track of time and almost stop functioning i struggle with wuite literally everything and each time theres one comment about either me being late everywhere or pointing out that im breaking out or sommet.

Im a little lost on how to navigate this, he tries to understand but without experiencing it i dont think he ever will. But i do think if this keeps happening itll eventually lead to a breakdown of our relationship because currently we dont live together so i can shelter him from the worst of it but when we move in together later in the year i worry itll be too much for him