It’s complicated :/
So last year in November my girlfriend cheated on me. We split up and I got my own place and she stayed at our old place we were apart for about 3 months. But I couldn’t take not seeing my son every day so I eventually caved and let her move in with me in my new condo and obviously I get to see my son every day now. But I’m just not as happy as I was before. I’m not even sure the love I had for her before is the same if at all. She goes to do instacart and she also has a job. But when she’s doing instacart I am just thinking she is with someone else. I’m not sure what to do or how to tell her any of this if I even want to. It’s complicated. But I know one thing for sure if we didn’t have a son I never would have took her back.
@rationalCranberry9905
You went through something painful, and even though you’ve tried to make things work again, it doesn’t feel the same anymore. It makes sense that the trust isn’t just back, especially after being hurt like that.
It also sounds like you’re kind of torn, you care about being there for your son every day, and that matters deeply to you, but at the same time you’re noticing that your own happiness and feelings in the relationship have changed. That’s a really difficult place to be in. The thoughts you’re having when she’s out working sound exhausting too, constantly wondering and not feeling at ease. Living with that kind of doubt can take a toll over time.
And what you said about not being sure if you’d have taken her back if it weren’t for your son… that says a lot about how complicated this is for you. You’re trying to balance being a present parent with your own emotional reality, and that’s not easy at all.
@listeningyouout29
could you be roommates/ friends and co-parents to your child without a relationship?
honestly it sounds like you have lost whatever feelings you had and while you may think it is good for your son you most likely will never feel the same about her ...
faking it is not helpful to a child as they see the real thing would you like them in an unhappy relationship because they think that is normal?
It’s not easy. She came back in to my place with my son obviously. But she acts like nothing ever happened. Just continue daily life. Idk it’s tough because I loved her before and I try to act the same but I think about it often and my thoughts get the best of me. Like any time she’s on her phone I’m wondering what she’s doing. Any time she’s alone I wondering what she’s doing it can be a bit overwhelming but I try to act normal. I’m just not sure I feel the same and it sucks because my sons only 2 and I never thought we’d be a family that splits up
@rationalCranberry9905
I understand many stay in situations because they do not want to be a broken family but in the end, you will regret giving up a chance on a real love relationship while pretending to be a family with someone you no longer have feelings for. It sucks the life out of us. I have been in those shoes if I could go back I would never ever have tried to make it look like a happy family with someone I love as a friend or important person from my past But I am NOT in love with.