Lack of attention and interest
I feel like my boyfriend doesn't pay enough attention to me. I have to repeat a thousand times what exactly I want and still he fails to do the simplest things. I'm tired of having to repeat the same thing, I'm tired of having to beg for love.
@leaderofprocrastination
It sounds like you're in a one-sided relationship.
Chantal Heide, a Canadian dating coach, has a book (the title I cannot post here), and in it she talks about the difference between someone who's emotionally ready for a healthy relationship versus someone who isn’t.
Here’s a general list of traits that often reflect emotional maturity in a partner. It’s loosely based on ideas from Chantal Heide’s relationship coaching, but framed in my own words for clarity.
Consistency Between Words and Actions: A "Man" demonstrates reliability by ensuring his actions align with his promises. This consistency builds trust and indicates emotional maturity.
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Emotional Availability and Respect: He is open to discussing feelings, respects personal boundaries, and is willing to engage in meaningful conversations about the relationship's direction.
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Shared Core Values: A "Man" shares fundamental values and life goals, such as views on family, finances, and personal growth, ensuring compatibility and mutual understanding.
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Integration into His Life: He actively includes his partner in his personal life, introducing her to friends and family, and making her feel like an integral part of his world.
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Support for Personal Growth: He encourages his partner's individual interests and growth, understanding that a healthy relationship allows both individuals to thrive independently and together.
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Patience in Building Intimacy: He respects the pace at which intimacy develops, focusing on building a strong emotional connection before progressing to physical closeness.
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Accountability and Self-Reflection: A "Man" takes responsibility for his actions, is open to feedback, and is committed to personal development and improving the relationship.
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Positive Influence on Mental Health: Being with him contributes positively to his partner's well-being, reducing stress and fostering a sense of security and happiness.
It’s important to watch for these qualities over time, especially in the early stages of a relationship.
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@leaderofprocrastination
i understand and have been in your situation.
I know we want attention and things to be done like we want.... but in the end, it does not feel right or how we want by telling them exactly what we want. Because we want spontaneity we want them to know what we want and need without a set of directions. Love and real attention is not a person following instructions to appease us but showing real care on their own.
On the other side he may resent being given instructions and judged about not doing that right as well. .....
