Leaving boyfriend over family problems
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over 3+ years. I am super happy with him, but we have one big issue. That is that my family does not like him and I’m a huge family person since I grew up in a big family. They have judged him from the beginning over multiple things such has him being 5 years older, him making a financial mistake in his past, and that they felt disrespected when I would spend the weekend with him. Over the years it has gotten worse to where my siblings have taken my dad side and don’t want to build a relationship with him. Over the past few months we have tried to fix it but nothing works. So this past week I decided it was best that we break up and I move out of our place. Neither of us has taken this great. I tried to not talk to him but it’s hard since he has been my person for the past few years. Also we have a dog so I’ve been staying at our place with him as I’m getting my stuff. Idk how I’m suppose to move on. I don’t want to but I know it’s what’s best. I don’t see any other way fixing the relationship and I’m tired of fighting. Please let me know if I’m wrong in my thinks or any encouraging words. I just feel lost
@unassumingEyes1445
😔💛
I'm sorry your family couldn't get on board to support you and get to know him.
Your happiness matters.
You need to put you first and trust what you need first and foremost 💛
@unassumingEyes1445
You are not alone family friction has broken up many relationships.
Is it really a deal breaker if your family does not want to get to know him or judges him? Does not seem like they gave him a fair chance. or considered your feelings to make you feel like you must choose. Does not seem like they really have your back or can replace someone who has been your person for years.
Parents often are leery or worry about who their child dates/ or eventually marries but in the end, it is a path the child is traveling NOT ours. too many people make choices for other people's feelings and may miss out on what their true path is.
To me family is important. I grew up with 5 siblings all close in age.
But I also don’t think they gave him a fair chance. I do blame myself I should have been more forward in building there relationship, but I was too worried about the negativity I was getting. Then when I tried reaching out, my family said they felt that it was too late to build a relationship. That they were wanting it soon and now have no desire.
@unassumingEyes1445
Getting to know someone takes time and if they did not put in effort how did they expect it to happen? It may be later, but we can still decide to make an effort to give a person a chance because how YOU feel about this person. they should respect your feelings too.
I get it when we have a close relationship with siblings etc. Ask yourself if situation was reversed would you make judgement and dislike someone a sibling has built a relationship with? Would you expect them to leave that relationship for your sibling bond.
I have always excepted my siblings significant others. I feel like they judged him from the beginning and was trying to be protective to me. Now that it’s been 3 years they don’t want to try to build a relationship with him. They said if he truly cared then he would have tried harder sooner
@unassumingEyes1445
I am sorry you are going thru this.
It is telling that they feel it was his responsibility to impress them and make situation work..
friendships and such are a two way effort
