Looking for support during this difficult time.

I was in a relationship for a year and everything was good. My partner and I lived together. She has a lot of animals and loves nature. Her health issues had an effect on what she was able to do. I showed her that there were possibilities and we did so much together.

Unfortunately, I made the mistake of giving her 19 a 19-year-old cat and an earlier dose of her medication. Although the vet and her family told me that my mistake did not kill her cat, of course, I fully take the blame and accountability. I was told to stay with my family until she was ready to talk to me. I was depressed and tried to reach out to check in. But she had a friend's wedding and other things. I spoke to her best friend about it and he told me that the situation was not fair because she has a habit of dragging things out. The cat was old. I was upset by what he said and decided to pack all of my belongings and give the keys in. I didn't feel like things were going to be the same.

I understand and acknowledge that my behavior was not the best. I never showed up at her house without her knowledge and tried my best to give her space. I asked for my belongings from her other house, but didn't get a date so I became frustrated.

I care deeply about her and still do. I rented out a room and have been working towards rebuilding. I have been able to pick up my mail with her present. She would have panic attacks if I were around even if she didn't see me. Things have calmed down, and we went our separate ways, but I feel like she has left the door open to our relationship because she tells me that she isn't ignoring my texts. I'm trying not to be stuck. Not seeing her for about four months after spending a year with her has been challenging.

I'd like help with what I should be doing next with my life. Please no judgment.