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Losing the One

I've loved a lot in my time on Earth, but I've never loved like this...

I started a relationship with someone who was struggling to find themselves; it started as an innocent friendship, just trying to help them navigate their emotions. But it blossomed into something spectacular. Unfortunately, that something spectacular is now something non-existent and I'm having a tough time dealing with the silence and the absence of their presence.

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User Profile: AsherTree
AsherTree June 2nd

@LonelyWorkingStiff

It's great that you had the opportunity to really truly love somebody.. Not everybody gets this opportunity.  So count yourself as one of the lucky ones..

I'm sorry your are missing their presence,  I hope things improve.. Take care🌟

User Profile: noi1989
noi1989 June 2nd

@LonelyWorkingStiff

Well now. Your story resonates with me because I, too, lost someone precious to my heart just recently. Every day without them feels like sailing without wind. But our roles are reversed, LonelyWorkingStiff. That person was the one who held me through tough times. And now I feel like I've lost them for good because of my inadequacies.


I, too, suffer the silence and absence of their presence. It gnaws at me incessantly and is ironically deafening. Far worse than noise and clamor. 


I guess what I'm saying is, I understand you so much. To have loved and lost that one person is indescribably painful. The healing process is confusing. The goal is seemingly unreachable. 


But I hope, one day, recovery will come to us with the assurance of peace of mind.


You've loved a lot in your lifetime, but you've never loved like this...The beautiful thing about it is, you now know you have so much more love to give. You are capable of sharing that love with others, and someday with someone who deserves it all. 


Stay strong. 


Stay hopeful. 


Be well. 


*smiles*

7 replies
User Profile: LonelyWorkingStiff
LonelyWorkingStiff OP June 2nd

In essence, you're basically the person I've lost, even though the decision was theirs. It sounds as though we have a lot in common. They also feel inadequate, despite the fact they never were in my eyes, my mind, my heart, or my soul. I can totally relate to everything you stated. It's excruciating!

6 replies
User Profile: noi1989
noi1989 June 2nd

@LonelyWorkingStiff

Well, loss was never meant to feel good. But press on, because I trust that the best is yet to come. *salutes*

5 replies
User Profile: LonelyWorkingStiff
LonelyWorkingStiff OP June 2nd

I hope you're right, I'm just having a difficult time believing that and/or seeing it in my future. The agony of this loss has been overwhelming and its taking a toll on my mental wellbeing.

4 replies
User Profile: noi1989
noi1989 June 2nd

@LonelyWorkingStiff

You know, I've been told many times.

Baby steps.

Just one little step at a time until you see the light.

(No, not the light you walk into. Do NOT walk into that light. xD)

It's a glimmer of hope you can grasp and feel in your bones, telling you you'll be alright. It's gonna be fine. You'll be ok.

3 replies
User Profile: LonelyWorkingStiff
LonelyWorkingStiff OP June 2nd

I've determined that light is likely a train; I'm in the middle of the tunnel and there's nowhere to escape.

2 replies
User Profile: noi1989
noi1989 June 2nd

@LonelyWorkingStiff

I'm sorry it feels that way. But I'm rooting for you, and I hope things will get better.

1 reply
User Profile: LonelyWorkingStiff
LonelyWorkingStiff OP June 2nd

Thank you. I'm rooting for you, too and hoping things improve on your end. Remember, you are worth more than what others believe you're worth - it's their loss if they can't recognize that.

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@LonelyWorkingStiff.Its really hard for you to deal this situation,as you want someone but they are not here for you.

1 reply
User Profile: LonelyWorkingStiff
LonelyWorkingStiff OP June 2nd

The messed up part is they want to be here for me, but they can't be because of their current circumstances.

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@LonelyWorkingStiff

Hey, I’m here to show my true compassion because I’m dealing with the same situation. 

For how long have you been struggling? 

12 replies
User Profile: LonelyWorkingStiff
LonelyWorkingStiff OP June 2nd

Going on nearly a month now.

11 replies

@LonelyWorkingStiff

I’m so sorry. 😔 

I wish getting out of the end of the relationship grief was linear. 4,5 months… feels even worse.

But we’re here, getting support and I truly hope we will only get stronger.

8 replies
User Profile: LonelyWorkingStiff
LonelyWorkingStiff OP June 2nd

I hope so, too. I've never experienced a love this deep; not once in my entire life have I been brought to my knees by the loss of a relationship - and I've lost a significant relationship to death - this person is still alive!

7 replies

@LonelyWorkingStiff

That’s why it hurts even more. It’s not resolved, it feels like it’s hanging. Nothing bad was done to at least hate them… it’s just there and hope is not dying. 

6 replies
User Profile: LonelyWorkingStiff
LonelyWorkingStiff OP June 2nd

Precisely! My love for this person is unwavering, undying, and is only strengthened with each passing day, even in the absence of communication.

5 replies

@LonelyWorkingStiff Does it make you wonder what did you do to deserve that kind of suffering? I know people say - you’re blessed you experienced that kind of love - but imagine the pain that comes after? I don’t know. If this is life now…

4 replies
User Profile: LonelyWorkingStiff
LonelyWorkingStiff OP June 2nd

It definitely makes me question a few things. For instance, I'm not overtly religious, but I am spiritual, and it makes me wonder: Would God honestly bring us together, have us fall in love for a year, only to tear us apart, never to see or speak to each other again? I do wonder what I've done to deserve this pain; the only thing I'm guilty of is loving someone who wasn't mine to begin with - but they weren't really anyone else's either. It's a complicated situation.

3 replies

@LonelyWorkingStiff it’s complicated, I can understand that. But is there even a chance for some time later? No need to go into details, I’m just hoping and that’s why I’m asking 

2 replies
User Profile: LonelyWorkingStiff
LonelyWorkingStiff OP June 2nd

They've said there's a chance for sometime in the future, but they currently want to take the time to work on themselves and the broken relationship they were in when we fell in love. In the meantime, all I can do is wait, hope and pray - and live the mediocre life I've created for myself.

1 reply

@LonelyWorkingStiff

Even if there’s hope, there’s still that awful emptiness… 

I don’t know who you are and I am not religious either but I will keep my fingers crossed for you. For that relationship to blossom again. Or for something even better (even if it doesn’t seem like something like that exists!). 


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@LonelyWorkingStiff

I’m so sorry. 😔 

I wish getting out of the end of the relationship grief was linear. 4,5 months… feels even worse.

But we’re here, getting support and I truly hope we will only get stronger.

@LonelyWorkingStiff

I’m so sorry. 😔 I wish I had advice.

If only getting out of the end of the relationship grief was linear. 4,5 months… feels even worse.

But we’re here, getting support and I truly hope we will only get stronger.

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User Profile: dishashak
dishashak June 5th

To all sharing on this thread..i am in the same boat as all of you..the longings..the missing part..the feeling that what if we were together..things would be so different..in my case it's been close to 11 years but I never quite overcame the loss..i don't think it's possible to forget him...but in my case we made a pact..it's like a pact which we made..every 31st Dec we decided to leave each other messages that keeps us connected..rest days of the years it's just me missing him. ..

4 replies

@dishashak

That’s absolutely heartbreaking to read. Here I am thinking I will stop loving them and imagining the future we planned together… Well I might, but I also might spend 11 years just surviving. 


Thank you for sharing your pain with us, I hope it helped at least a bit…

3 replies
User Profile: LonelyWorkingStiff
LonelyWorkingStiff OP June 7th

Thank you. It got worse. She actually told pretty much everyone about us; she came clean to my partner, she came clean to our church. The whole time, she didn't say a single word to me. And now, she's back with a total narcissist who takes pleasure in controlling her every move - he even tracks her phone and has her followed whenever she goes somewhere out of the usual for her normal routine. I'm finding it hard to care anymore, even though my love for her will never die - Whiskey Lulluby.

2 replies

@LonelyWorkingStiff She will learn she’s made a huge mistake a hard way…. Nobody can survive the controlling narcissist.

1 reply
User Profile: LonelyWorkingStiff
LonelyWorkingStiff OP June 11th

I hope you're right. And I hope she doesn't find out by paying the ultimate sacrifice, which is what I fear the most.

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