Lost and Over It
Hello from a new person in the Cups world!
I’m coming at the suggestion of a *** friend who sent me a link and wanted me to give this a try for a week. I’m coming off yet another relationship ending where I thought I was doing things right and yet got yelled at and treated like a villain.
I went to a convention with someone I’ve been talking to and getting to know for the past 3 months. We met online and did things like got dinners, played Genshin, watched anime and more together. She is poly and was not wanting to go into a relationship and said as much. I did try to insist we were not a thing with my family she met and others in my life and I thought things were OK. And then we went to a convention this weekend and I got a scathing text from her boyfriend (she’s poly) saying I was not being considerate for wanting to explore a relationship when she said she loved me and I loved her among other things. I got told if I respect her, I’ll accept what she gives me and move on. And then she followed up saying I was not good at understanding people putting things gently and that I didn’t care about her enough. This as someone who has opened my apartment to her, fed her, given her space to vent, tried to be supportive and respectful and not hitting on others when I thought we could have a thing.
It has reached the point where I don’t think I’ll ever be worthy of a relationship, where I know and accept that something will always come up and where I’m done trying since rejection and pain and getting yelled at for something I don’t even know I’m doing wrong is the norm. I read her saying about she wanting to show me what love looks like the wrong way, apparently, and now I get to pay for it. I’m so done and over trying and getting my heart broken or pulled along or just tossed out after assuming for so long that if 2 people say they like each other, they should act on it! I don’t know what to do…
@Kilojoule1997
Hey, I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way you’ve been through a lot, and it’s completely understandable that you’re feeling hurt, confused, and exhausted. When you show up for someone with kindness and care opening your home, sharing experiences, and being supportive it’s natural to hope for that care to be returned in a clear and loving way. It sounds like you’ve been doing your best to be thoughtful and understanding, and yet, instead of being met with grace or patience, you’ve been met with blame and rejection. That’s a heavy thing to carry, especially when your intentions were genuine.
You’re not broken, and you’re not unworthy of love. The pain you’re feeling right now doesn’t define your value. Relationships especially ones where feelings get complicated can be messy and hard to navigate. You’re trying to do the right thing, but it sounds like the communication you received was unclear or shifting, which isn’t fair to you. It’s okay to want clarity. It’s okay to want to feel chosen. You deserve a relationship where your love, effort, and kindness are reciprocated without having to constantly guess or feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
I know it hurts right now, and that pain can make it easy to think you’re "done" or that no one will ever love you the way you want but that’s not true. There are people out there who will see your heart, your kindness, and the care you give, and they’ll meet you with the same energy. You deserve that. You deserve to feel wanted, not like you’re chasing something fragile or constantly being told you’re not getting it right.
It’s okay to take a breath. It’s okay to feel this hurt without rushing to "fix" it. And it’s okay to want a love that feels clear, supportive, and real because that kind of love is possible for you. You’re not too much. You’re not unlovable. You’re just someone who wants to be seen, and I promise that you deserve that.
Take your time to heal. Your heart is still worthy just as it is. And if you need someone to keep reminding you of that, I’m here. You’re not alone in this.