Lost, broken, shattered

My partner/fiance have been together for almost 8 years now.

For the past year, I have completely slacked off. Became lazy, no affection, no compliments, I’ve just been completely closed off. I accepted a new role which saw me travelling a lot, especially when we’ve never been apart. I didn’t take her reservations into consideration.

Then a few weeks ago, she started talking to her boss at work (who is married already) and she has painted the idea in her head what she has been missing out on and apparently, the life he is willing to provide. I don’t know anything that’s been said as I would rather not, but they practically text non stop.

A week ago, she has asked for some space, which is hard when you live together believe me. I took a week off from work and completely did a 360 on my life. Everything that she’s been telling me to do, I’ve now put on my back and have become that person. It’s hard to believe that someone can change themselves completely within a week - but I know I am not that lazy *** person anymore and I know what I can provide to a woman. It’s a *** beautiful life. To be honest, the man I have become I never knew was inside of me.

She left me this morning to spend time in the city, as a break from me, which completely tore me apart watching her leave. Do I think she is meeting up with the guy from work? I don’t know. To be honest, I’d rather never know. She has assured me that it’s a girls weekend trip so that’s what I’m believing. I’ve told her I’d give her the space and not contact her.

I have elaborated to her how I’ve changed, the man I have become, that job I accepted months ago - I have now put the ball in motion to stand down from that and go back into my own role as a gesture of how important this relationship is. The man I have become is what she always wanted but I was too blind to see it. I’ve completely flipped my entire life around. She’s been working, so because I’m not, I’ve been doing all the housework and other stuff I have put off (I’ve been a real handyman, might I add) She always tried to talk about the wedding, I would be too preoccupied with my video games. She would talk about kids, I would say I’m not ready yet (even though i realised, I am beyond ready for that). She feels that my massive change may be temporary from previous experience, but that is who I am now. I’m happy in that aspect. I’ve assured her it’s a permanent change.

She hasn’t had the space from me because she’s been working all week, I was alone all week. In ways, the time I’ve had has reignited the love I have for her again, which can easily be forgotten after 8 years. She comes out, all I want to do is talk to her and be with her, but that feels like I’m coming on strong.

Her issue now, is that she needs the space to think if she wants me, wants that better life or if she is happy alone.

I’m a damn good man who would love, support and spoil the woman I was with. If this was any other girl, I know my worth, I’d already be out the door. But with her.. it’s different. There is just so much history that can never be replaced or replicated.

I’m home alone, it’s quiet without her here and I’m just lost in my own thoughts. I don’t know what to do about the entirety of the situation.

Update:

4 days later, she’s returned home and said that she needs to be apart and we need to sleep in seperate beds.