Lost in a relationship that feels like we're both pulling each other apart
Have you ever been in a relationship that feels like more of a burden. Like yes you both love each other but all you do is fight. Because he's either accusing you of something you didn't do! Or your accusing him of something you know he did do and is still doing and there is proof? Like I've forgiven him but he keep starting little fights with me about what I'm doing wrong when I'm doing nothing wrong. And I feel like I should do something wrong just so he can have something to say about me that's true instead of a lie does that make sense? Ugh I have no clue. I don't want to waste another 5 yrs To a relationship that can be fixed I just don't know where to start!!!! My mental is weighing heavy and idk how much longer I can paint on with it all. But it seems like every time he wants to talk I'm the problem because I bring up the truth and all the problems but it's not to belittle him it's so that he sees his flaws and fixes them. And I in the wrong for that?
@alureBunny00 As a person who's been in long & toxic relationships, this is very toxic and you both should quit before you waste another day on your relationship. The constant bickering, arguing, fighting, attacking each other, blaming, etc. are all extremely toxic behaviors. You both need to get away from each other and focus on yourselves, by yourselves.
@alureBunny00
Talking vs communication. I have been in a situation where there is arguing or small disagreements that seem to go and on...yet nothing changes.. We can not change how another person is or sees things or force them to change....... we Can control our reaction to it.
In the end does it matter who was Right vs Wrong? As long as it is a contest and blame game it will Not work. if you want to call it quits that is fine or you learn to communicate effectively.
I found through self reflection and using better communication methods ...helped us really address core issues instead of re-hashing same subject over and over and bringing up "you did this" or "you did that" back and forth repeatedly. Most people IMO do not learn how to fight successfully... so many reach back for that "one time you did this" or are not listening while forming some snappy comeback to whatever they say.... often reaching for the most hurtful statement we can.
i found using the " I Feel" statements. i also write thoughts down and then read not like it is MY situation but if this was someone else .... this allowed me to see how we sometimes do not see our own flaws in communication.