Loving someone new after being in love?
Hi, I have a question about something I've been going through for about three years...
Is there anyone who has experience with loving someone new after a hard breakup (especially after a long-term relationship)?
It's been about three years since my ex-boyfriend broke up with me after 4.5 years together. I was so in love (it was also my first love) and I did not expect the breakup at all. After that, I felt like I was dying from the pain... it hurt so much. I was so sure that my life was over and that I had failed.
However, I got back up and I'm still here, stronger than ever. But when it comes to this topic, I still feel that pain. Will these feelings for him ever disappear? (I'm confused because I didn't expect this... He never told me why, but he started dating another girl right after the breakup.) I still miss him (it feels like grieving, but then you realize the person is still alive and just chose not to be with you. It's a really weird feeling.)
However, I'm in a new relationship now. We've been together for two beautiful years, but sometimes I feel like I'm living an alternative life because the main one ended. And sometimes it feels so weird to love someone new, because as I said, I still miss my ex from time to time.
So I wanted to ask is there anyone who has experience with this topic and could give me some advice?
@sensitiveGinger8263
I find we do not miss what was, but what we thought it would be. In the last few years I bet your EX is no longer the same person you feel you are missing.
Life is like a book you are in a new chapter and while things we went through helped us get where we are we cannot go back as it will not be the same and we are not the same.
In my experience when I fell in love with a new person it was not in comparison to a past experience as it was different stronger in some things and maybe not as strong in others. I did not expect that I was surprised how deeply I felt but it was new and not like my past. If we wait or expect to feel exactly the same about something new, we could never let ourselves love again.