Man at Synagogue wanting to connect way too fast
I don't know if I have posted about this or not
Back in January, while having lunch at my former synagoge, I met a new man who had been visiting. Though I thought he was cute and had only seen him a total of two times. He also wanted my number because he said that he had started a youtube series which I was interested in.
His description:
He explained to me that he lived with bipolar disorder, lived on social security and made very little money by going and cleaning two gas stations under the table. Meanwhile he lived on one of those monthly rooms for rent. Finally, he wore the same outfit both times along with having greasy hair.
Redflags:
Although he seemed nice enough, I felt like something was off
1. During the second interactions, he seemed to enjoy being involved in the same activities that I was doing. This was even though we didn't sit in the same room for most of it.
2. He also tried to invite himself over to my house so I could show him a movie that he had never seen but I said no.
3. He texted me a few evenings later which was fine but texted me the next day by using a pick up line.
"Look I am sorry to bother you but I lost the link to an *** page..."
- I told him not to text me so much because we barely know each other and that I only text people who I am close to
- I also said that I would rather invite him to hang out in a group.
-He said "I would also feel more comfortable getting together un a group before we try anything else." At that point, I said that I didn't have those feelings for him
-He also kept asking me "Will I see you this Saturday?"
In the meantime, I was looking at leaving that synagogue and visiting some other places. While he is not the main reason why I left, his behavior was one of the reasons I stopped going.
@Summershy I hope you find a new synagogue💖 I think you should block him from social. He might be harmless enough but those are some huge red flags😕 hugs you tightly 💗 please be safe💖
@Tinywhisper11
Hi:
I blocked his number and his social media accounts back in January and never looked back. Again though, he is not the main reason why I left. The bigger picture is that this congregation was not a good fit for me for so many reasons.
In the meantime, I have not found a new synagogue yet. However, being that I am Christian while attending, I found a new non denominational church and I feel a lot happier there. The people there are so much nicer than they were at the last place
@Summershy well done for blocking him💖💖💖 and that's good, a nice new church 💖💖💖 I hope people continue to love and support you there 💗 gives you a giant tiny hug 💗
@Tinywhisper11
Thank you for your hug and I had a chance to think so more things through. It probably was not a good idea for me to jump with any sort of relationship with him. This is especially since a lot of other people were really not that interested in me.
In the meantime, I love my new church. The people there are much nicer and supportive of each other.
@Tinywhisper11
Hi Tiny:
I have an update:
As you know, I paid that last synagogue a visit. When I first arrived, I didn't see that man anywhere and felt relieved. Then during lunch is when I saw him and felt some anxiety. Needless to say, I managed to avoid and ignore him the entire time. When he tried waving at me, I didn't wave back but nodded my head coldly. When I was trying to talk to another new member, he was sitting at another table across from me. I don't know if he was doing this to get my attention or part of the disorder, but he talked in a very loud manner which was annoying. I don't want to point my finger because I have the same problem. Regardless, I felt very uncomfortable.
Before leaving, I ended up sharing my concerns about his behavior to the rabbi and the wife our my late rabbi.
Then when headed out to the parking lot, I ended up expressing my concerns to one of the nicer people. Then as I was talking to her, he came out. Then as soon as that happened, I abruptly ended the conversation and left the property.
