Marriage

@caitlynnwhite Hello. I am sad to hear about the feelings you must be going through, which are also waking up your bad memories from the past.

From my observations an angry person is quite often a person abused in the past - e.g. forced to be grown up too fast, with his or her rights to show his or her feelings (especially anger, helplessness or sadness) denied, or being a witness of traumatic family experience (like one of the parents cheating on the other). Healing from that might be painful and composite process.

However, anger and pain concerning the past do not give anybody the right to hurt his or her family. And you have the right to leave, when you and/or your children are in serious danger.

It might be good for you to talk about the situation in more details with an experienced family therapist or a thoughtful and calm person you can trust.

But first, if your husband still loves you the way you love him, I believe your communication channels could be still open, and some frank conversation, or maybe some couple therapy might help.

@caitlynnwhite

have you a dialogue about what changed perhaps at the time period. some people get  overwhelmed and angry not about you or family maybe career type pressures or health issues... some may turn to alcohol or substances others it seems to come out in anger. 

these things should be able to be discussed how he is feeling .... i know in my marriage we had a couple times once when I was extremely angry and other when he was ..... it was not about our marriage marriage but frustration in how life was going finances and career and pressure ... both were resolved but could have been a lot faster IF we were open to Talking about it would have saved us a tone of stress. 

@caitlynnwhite,

I can relate to you. I was the one who would get angry. It was sheer pain, frustration,  and unfortunately I couldn't control it as in, recognize it in time and take a break and alone time to ease down. I did learn that finally but, too late. 

We often take out anger to the ones close to us. It's not personal but it does do serious damage, up to the point there's no way back and even if someone changes and learns to channel anger differently, we might have get stuck in a deep rift that might be beyond repair. And sometimes, like in my case, past experiences from your partner kick in.

Have you considered relationship therapy to find out if you guys can find a way to better communicate and take it from there, whatever the outcome?

@caitlynnwhite I am in a similar situation,  maybe we can help each other.