Marriage struggle
Hello,
We met 9yrs ago, been married for 8yrs, same age as our child.
Everything was great up to the end of pregnancy, then everything changed.
I took a long parental leave and then managed to work remote for a year, this before covid. During that first year we managed well, but no sex life. I did not make a big deal out of it because I know we had to go through an adaptation period. She said that she needed to be relaxed, and so in the subsequent 3years we went intimate only 3 times during summer breaks. Then nothing since then. It has been more than 5yrs now. Her levels of anxiety went down but anger increased. I think the worst for me is to be insulted, being called Idiot or looser, especially in front of our child. Sometimes physically, but nothing I cannot take. She mainly complains about me getting fat, but my self esteem went down during those years. He calls me *** if I try to touch her. There has not been hugging or kissing for many years.
Other than that we tried to meet some goals, we bought a house and ensure our child gets the best education possible. I just want my child to grow within a family, and I avoid as much as I can fights in front of her. If i try to speak about it to my spouse, she would just say that I play the victim card and should worry about more important things.
I will try to focus on myself and loose weight but I would have loved my child to see what is to be a real loving family.
@yellowTiger4765
I am sorry you are going thru this.
It in not as uncommon as you think there is a forum on another site that deals with this sexless marriage thing exclusively.
It most likely is not about you ... many feel in a relationship it is them my spouse developed a medical issue that ended that part of marriage Instead of being honest let me feel it was me lost weight changed hair shampoo / toothpaste clothes tried to be attractive to him... Self improvement is good if you are doing it for YOU not anyone else. Also lasts longer when it is for you.
Perhaps she has a hormone imbalance happens and does not correct on its own or IF she lost feelings towards you she should speak up and TALK about whatever the obstacle to intimacy is Marriage counseling is often the route most take in this....
I can relate up to a point... 6 years married with kid same age... No money at that time... Bad paying job for me... Jobless for her... Living together with her grandpa taking care of him along the way - many health issues and intense medical care - then a couple of years after came our 2nd kid... Wife was already suppressed by our parents and her everyday life... Ended up becoming someone else than the girl I fell in love with because she always avoided to manage hard feelings and difficult calls... Easier to blame me for literally everything wrong in her life ending up wishing I die in car crash quite often recently... As far as my case is concerned my wife needs intense therapy but instead leads all the rest to actually seek therapy to confront her... Kids in the middle of all...
How I long intimacy, value, care, respect, communication and commitment... I provide for kids the stable parent they so much need but I am slowly dying inside...
Sincerely hope things get better for you mate!... You deserve what you seek! A stable environment for you to be able to operate in... Aren't we all? More or less? Sooner or later?
