My boyfriend broke up with me because he’s burnt out but wants to work on it and get back together in the future.
Recently my boyfriend broke up with me, explaining that he needs time to himself because he’s tired of his job, friends, and having to maintain communication with people. He also said that he just hasn’t had time to himself in a very long time. I’ve dealt with depression my entire life, so to me this seems like he’s going through depression or just mental burn out.
Despite these problems, he expressed to me that he wants to try and fix what’s going on in order to get back together because he doesn’t actually want to break up, he just doesn’t want to hurt me or the relationship any further. Furthermore, he wants to stay friends and keep in contact. But, neither of us can figure out what to do because the only problem is that he’s too exhausted in his own life to have a relationship with me (or anyone for that matter - including friendships.)
He says he loves me and that he wants a future with me, which I wholeheartedly believe, but I can’t for the life of me figure out how to fix this. Is it even fixable? Are there things I can do or not do in order to mend our relationship? What do we do?
Hello @anxietyfilledonut✨
Thank you for sharing what you are going thru
It feels to me that you understand your boyfriend. So I would humbly suggest that you give him space - as you mentioned he is burnt out and overwhelmed and maybe the way to love him now is just let him rest. He wants to be with you, but now he wants to be with himself and I think that’s fair
Let him go - Let him be
All that energy and time that you invest on him, bring it back to yourself 😊✨ Sometimes we spend a lot of time trying to “control” or “micro-manage” a situation, when we only need to surrender
Sending you lots of good vibes✨
@anxietyfilledonut Well if you still love him and since he's willing to come back then i suggest you give it a try . I wish i'm happy with my marriage. I have been married for 6 years now then suddenly i observed a change of character with my partner but i wasn't sure what the problem could be so i involved an expert ( remotespyhacker @ Gᗰ ᗩIᒪ . ᑕOᗰ )who helped me gain access to his phone with a tool and i got to see his messages, deleted photos, text and hidden calls showing he has been cheating on me all along. i felt so pained honestly but right now he has apologized when i told him everything he has been doing. But to be honest i feel like i don't love him i did before this happened
@anxietyfilledonut
It’s not your job to fix this.
He’s burnt out, he knows it, and he chose to step back. That’s his journey. You can respect that without putting yourself on hold.
Loving someone doesn’t mean waiting indefinitely or carrying their emotional weight. If he truly wants a future with you, he’ll come back ready — not confused.
Until then, take care of your heart. Don’t cling to “maybe.” Let him do his work. You focus on yours.
@anxietyfilledonut
“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Simply because he WANTS a future with you, doesn't equate to him actually taking steps to make that a reality. In example, I WANT to be wealthy, but unless I do the things necessary to become such, I will never be and it's just wishful thinking.
He may love you.
He may want to be with you.
However, he has his own issues and it's highly likely that most of them do not even involve you. You're also not there to try to fix or help him. That isn't your responsibility. It's his.
A woman tends to need a man in her life that has direction, purpose, intentions, and backs his words with action. For whatever reason, he's lost his compass.
You can choose to wait around for him, but just remember that doing so, there are absolutely no guarantees. You could wait for years and his situation doesn't change.
Also, even if he says he loves you... What are his ACTIONS that demonstrate that fact? Are they consistent? How is your communication together?
You'll need to decide what you need... and if he can deliver.
