My boyfriend gave me an ultimatum yesterday..

Hey, idk how to start this I just needed some advice from more then one person.

I've been dating my boyfriend, I'll call him A, for around 8 months now. Our relationship has honestly been so amazing. He's my first everything. My first boyfriend, first kiss, first love, first guy I've been intimate with. I'm young so I imagine it's just my teenage brain but I see us having a future together. Everything was going so good and I love him with my whole heart.

This situation is a bit weird itself but he's graduated high school and I'm a senior I'm high-school, he came to my art class to help me with my project and say hi to my art teacher (who he loves). It was so nice spending time with him, I forgot how much I missed doing art with him. We talked and laughed and I offered to come the next period but he told me no. Then during my last hour of the day, he told me he needed to talk with me about this friend I'll call M.

M has been a constant discussion in our relationship. People have warned A about M because they can be a bit "flirty" at times. Now I know M well, we've gotten close and I know that's just their personality, we make dirty jokes with eachother and we've become very close. They've become a safe person in my life.

Apparently while A was alone in the ceramics room, people told him that M has been flirting with me and making others uncomfortable. That they didn't even know we were still together because of how close me and M are. Obviously that was never the intention but it just kinda came out that way i guess.

I could tell something was off with A the second I got into the car. They seemed distant and upset. We parked and they told me that they didn't realize how close me and M were and that people told him things about how M has been flirting with me and everyone can see it but me. That M has ruined relationships with people because of how they talk to peoples significant others. Then A told me that they're uncomfortable with me being friends with M now and if I choose to continue that "relationship", we should see other people....

I couldn't breathe, couldn't say a word. I just got out of the car and sat on the ground next to it. I sat there and cried for 5-10 mins before he even came out. He just sat there, not comforting me or anything. After silence he just kept saying the same stuff. Like he rehearsed it. I tried to tell him" your asking me to pick between my two safe people? I don't have anyone else!" But he wouldn't listen.

In all truth, I don't have many close friends. Especially Any who would choose me first. M has made me feel so loved, they always put me first and I feel so comforted by their space. I only see them as a friend, they just have become my safe space, especially at school. A isn't at my school so if I leave M, I'd have no one and I'd feel so alone.

I told A I needed to get out and talk to one of my friends. The car ride was silent before A told me again " I'm sorry but if you and M continue this relationship, we should see other people". My heart just kept breaking, I couldn't stop crying. A asked for his jacket back ( I wear his jacket everyday, so this hurt a lot) and ran to my friend and cried and let it all out. Me and my friend agreed it was best to give it a few days before having a conversation because A was so convinced on his feelings and he needed to think and I did too.

The next day hurt a lot. All I did was cry. I couldn't even get work done. M had a conversation with A and he told them thay if we stay friends, we weren't allowed to talk 1 on 1 and needed a "supervisor". I was so ***, all I could do was cry. I went to my friend, called G and just cried it all out. They helped me realize that what A was doing wasn't a " simple boundary" like he claimed, but rather a ultimatum, a dictation of my life.

I hate this all so much. I've been hearing so much And I just want it to stop. I see a real future with this man. He has made me feel more loved and cared for then I've ever felt. I love him with every ounce of my being. But losing M could affect my mental health so badly, I'm already so depressed and it's been a day...

No matter what I feel like I'm going to lose them both by resenting the other for making me lose a safe space. I want A so bad but I also know that I can't let him take over my story. I can let him influence what happens next but he can't control it or take my pen away from me ( as stupid as this might sound). I'm having a talk with him in a few days but I'm so scared. I'm scared to lose him and I'm scared he won't understand my feelings. I don't know how to come about this.

I'm willing to work with him and create boundaries between me and M if it makes him happy and less insecure but it's unrealistic to just expect me to drop M immediately. It's not fair and it's controlling. But idk how to show him that. He's never acted like this before and I'm lost.... any advice is so helpful rn.