My husband chose gaming over our dog
I am upset right now, so please be gentle.
Because of the heatwave, our dog hasn't been able to get her usual amount of exercise outdoors, and she got a little stir crazy this evening. So I asked my husband if he would play with her in the yard, since he is better at getting her zoomies out than I am. He said okay, but that he had to finish his videogame with his friends. I told him the sun was setting and that it would be dark soon, so he said he'd be done in 5-10mins. Naturally, 20mins later he finally makes it outside with the dog as the sun is setting. But at this point I'm annoyed. 1) that he chose a game over taking care of our dog, and 2) that it took him twice as long to do so.
He asked me what was wrong, and I relayed my sentiment re: the situation. He said, "well you're aware that I was in a game with friends, right?" and I said yeah, but I think that taking care of our dog (who we consider family), should be the priority. This man goes "well I don't feel that way, and it is something we should talk about."
Y'all, I did not marry a man who would choose a game over actual responsibilities. Responsibilities that he agreed to. I never thought I would be having these interactions with my husband. And the more it happens, the more I question everything I thought I married. In the six years we have been together, I have never once thought about leaving until the last few months. What do I do?
@rationalKitten4820
Hi there,
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way.
It must have been disappointing to see your husband prioritize his game over taking care of your dog, especially since you consider her a part of the family. It's important to feel that your partner shares your values and priorities, especially when it comes to responsibilities you've both agreed upon.
Your feelings are valid, and it sounds like you're seeking a deeper understanding and alignment with your husband on these issues. It might help to have a calm and open conversation with him about how you're feeling. Expressing your concerns without blame and focusing on how his actions impact you and the family might help him understand your perspective better, and maybe you to understand his better too. Maybe it is not just about the 10 minutes more, maybe there are other things too?
You mentioned that you've never thought about leaving until recently, which shows that these issues are seriously affecting you. Did things pile up?
You deserve to feel heard and respected in your relationship. Taking steps to address these concerns can help you both find a path forward that honors your feelings and the partnership you value.
@rationalKitten4820
I can so relate and it is in my opinion that these things about priorities needs to be dealt with and discussed sooner then later. much easier to sort out now then down the road.
While the example about the dog can be seen both ways .........yes he was playing with friends and he can not control their timing ....... but he could have also said he "only had x amount of time because he has other things to get to before sunset."
I made the mistake of thinking my spouse would grow out of this or be on time but i wish I tackled this issues long ago. it is one of items that are making it harder and harder to save my relationship. Priorities are important to be a shared vision not having to remind them your items are a priority over what video games his friends are playing.
@rationalKitten4820,
people have different ways, different perceptions, different priorities.
You cannot mold someone in a form that fits you. I'm not saying I don't understand where you're coming from. Having said this, is this only about the dog or is there more going on beneath?