My husband remarried and I cannot accept his other wife
My now husband and I have been together for 18 years, married for 3 years..we had been having issues on nd off but overall we were happy together.. 2 yrs back he decided to marry someone else who was subjected to a lot of torture by her family and religiously he felt his obligation to save someone who is subjected to torture. He told me of his marraige 2 months later, jokingly at first then seriously.. I still couldn't believe it but he says his intentions are not wrong.. I too have heard of her circumstances..but from when I have accepted this as a reality, I'm not able to bear it. It has broken me completely and we have had several fights because of this, his behavior changed towards me cz I torture him on this topic and I hv become bitter, he has even raised his hand on me several times in a fit of rage..I know there is no future left with him but I feel really stuck, it is very difficult to imagine my life without him but I cannot see him with another woman, even if it's out of no option and good intentions. 💔 I want to get away but I don't seem to have courage to do so..I fought with my family for him and can't go bk to them either..It feels like the end of everything.
Stat Strong, you can overcome your challenges.
@Envy6679 Dear person, first of all, I'm sorry you're going through such a challenging and painful time. I felt the need to reach out to you as your experience resonated with me. I was with my now ex-husband for over 12 years, married for 3 and then I found he was cheating on me and intending to get a second wife. Things also got toxic and abusive in my situation as you can probably imagine. We are now divorced and I moved back home to be with my family, and left everything behind, scary as it was to start my life all over again from scratch. It's not easy. But neither was staying. Nobody else can tell you what to do. You have to choose your own hard, as they say. The one you can live with. I could not live with the betrayal, as much as I loved him.
I want to tell you, as scary and hard as things seem, it will not be the end. You can get through this. Please don't isolate yourself and reach out to your loved ones. Family is family at the of the day, even if you fought with them to marry this guy. Give them a chance. Are you financially independent? And if not, can you take steps in that direction? Please do that, if possible. It will help you to feel more in charge and to be able to make a more informed decision. I would also say, if you can, please reach out and seek some professional help.
What you're going through is A LOT and it's okay to reach out to others. I only realized it a tad late, but when I sought help and support, I found it in different, often unexpected places. So try to build yourself a support system of good friends and people who care about you! When you're all alone with your thoughts, you are sometimes not able to see things clearly.
I will be praying for you and keeping you in my thoughts. And I just wanted to share my own story in case if it maybe helps you someway. I used to also never be able to imagine my life without my ex. It was all like death do us part. But after everything that happened, and now that I'm far away and focusing on my healing and finding myself. I feel grateful. It was really really painful...but time is a great healer, when you give yourself the chance to heal. Feel those emotions and accept reality and all that. Today, I do feel I've come a long way from that time and I feel fine. Life didn't end! I pray you also find the best for you. Don't lose hope or despair.
Also, please be safe! If has escalated to physical abuse from his end. This is NOT love. To be honest, I don't buy the "good intentions" bit either, because he cheated you and if he had those intentions, why aren't his actions matching up? Why didn't he talk about it with you? Please ask yourself if you really want this kind of "love" in life where there is no trust or respect, only growing resentment...I hope I didn't say anything hurtful. I just thought after reading your story, that I need to reach out. Please...
Take care!