Navigating toxic behavior patterns from people you love

A downside to caring about others deeply, being passionate about helping those who are hurting, having high empathy, and a history of abandonment, a history of parental abuse, with the combination of low self-worth and both social anxiety and generalized anxiety, and growing up in a culture that forced toxic positivity -- is that it creates the perfect mental environment to get stuck in bad relationships.

Every one of those aspects tells you that you need to show up for them no matter what, love unconditionally, give whatever you can, put your needs aside, and always seek peace and regulate their emotions.

It means, if you're in a bad relationship with someone who hurts you consistently - you dismiss it as your fault, or you bury your feelings and try harder, or you walk on eggshells every moment to preserve their peace - even if it's slowly killing everything you are.

You can't speak up, you can't change them, so you focus on what you can control - becoming numb to it or dissociating, walking on eggshells to a degree that you don't recognize your feet anymore, and accepting an isolating suffocating feeling as the only option.

I don't know how to navigate being with someone who is stuck in a cycle of hurting me. I've been in survival mode for so long that I can't even remember what safety feels like or if I ever really have felt that way.