Need a shoulder to cry on
Hello Everyone,
I don't want to give away too much about myself, because I have never done any sort of on-line chat community before. I always thought they were filled with weirdos and creeps trying to harm you and take advantage of lonely and emotional people like myslef. I am going through a lot right now, and unfortunately don't have any one safe to talk to. My friends. My family. None of them I feel comfortable talking to. Mainly because they know my husband and think he's this great and wonderful guy, and probably wouldn't believe me when I tell them about how he can be kind of a jerk sometimes. Also, they might tell him all the stuff I talked about with them, and that would not end well for me. He would be ***. He has threatened divorce many a time. Pretty much everytime we have a major agrument. Plus, he feels our arguments are pointless and that I'm just making a big deal out of nothing, and that I always have to be right. I just can't take it anymore, and I'm never sure if I'm actually in the wrong or what. I mean, I know I'm not perfect, and I have done and said things that were unfair. But, I hate when he points out past issues with me as if they're happening right now. I don't know. I don't know what to do. It's sad, because I want to love him. But, if I'm honest, it's hard to love him. I often fantisize about being with someone else, and I feel terrible for that. I mean I sometimes feel like I'm being ungrateful or unappreciative. But, then he does something that reminds me of why I fantisize about not being with him. I swear that song from Sarah Baraeiles (I think I spelled her name wrong....sorry.). "King of Anything" sums up my problems with him perfectly. Anyway, I hope someone can help me.
Take care and please help me if you can. I would also like to help others too. I'm a physically disabled house bound person at the moment. I would love to provide support to others who are in a similar situation.
Sincerely,
Lonely and Broken
@sandraweder81
Hey, thank you for reaching out. I am starting to be open to listening long term for any issues. Please feel free to message and I'll be happy to listen and acknowledge what you're doing through. Peace. x
@sandraweder81
i could write something very similar sounds the same ......... in a miserable situation and those on outside looking in think it looks OK....
do not feel bad or guilty in thinking of a life without him or with someone else... while people speak of love languages etc it is ALL BS if the person you are dealing with does not LISTEN or makes issues out of non issues and only resorts to way in the past moments to bring up hoping you will back down.......
I have taken to living as roommates .... no touching no affection and he is getting the message ..... those who threaten divorce simply do that to shut you down ...... mine used to so i told him cost to file and how we would separate stuff and he shut up quick.
if the issues you are having are important to you then they are important regardless what others say .....
my gripes sometimes seem petty some on the outside........ but they do not deal with it day after day ......... promised to do things but NEVER does.... I asked him to run dishwasher when he turns in for evening .........as roommates we sleep separate etc........I got up in middle of night because could not sleep ......saw he did not turn dishwasher on so i did .....
in morning as he heard me get up he runs and turns on the dishwasher that was CLEAN ....why because he did not want to admit he was forgot .......
when i said "great they will be double clean " he was like WHAT????
i have shown him 6 times there is a light that indicates CLEAN but he doe not pay attention ........ he says ok ...he made mistake but I just cannot let his small errors go ...........
Yes i can, if it was a mistake instead of a lie covering a mistake....... case closed....... but instead he chose to make it a fight
told him it is not about the dishwasher ....................just a common theme of his inability to pay attention or listen that the light above the word CLEAN means it is DONE......
