Need some advice

@JasmineJoy

         When our partner is not acting like themselves or not giving attention/ affection like we want. it is good to speak up and ask  and talk about it ........but if they say nothing is wrong and we keep asking it does not go well. 

I often think it is not what we talked about...... but how we talked about it.  In a moment of anger or hurt we are not listening....  Is he stressed or depressed?      Are you giving the same attention he once felt?   

 What else is going on?      Is it a circle conversation like you want more attention or affection and he is not sure what to do... Trying harder is depending on your perspective.   If he is not doing what you pictured for change...... is it because you waited for him to "just Know" and are disappointed when he does not know....Or if you give them a checklist do you see how that may make them feel like it is a chore. 

There is nothing worse then being lonely in a relationship but we really need to see it takes two and the other person may not be on the same page but they may feel you are not in sync with them too. 

I’ve never been in a relationship or situation like this so my advice won’t be of very much help, but I want to at least show you that some people care.

I believe you should force him to take a short break from work and from your kids if you have any, to go on a small trip. A little distraction will help, being alone will encourage him to show you the affection you’ve been looking for, even if it’s not much. Small steps are necessary for building a strong foundation to a healthy and understanding relationship. But if that’s something that would spark more arguments than good, then maybe you yourself should take a long awaited vacation to clear your mind and help you think of your next course of action. You need to love yourself before anyone. If you’re going to spend every waking moment loving and caring man for years but he isn’t doing the same for you. Then maybe it’s time to wake up and rethink your relationship. I know it’s tough, you can’t just leave a relationship, especially because you two are married. Maybe you don’t have anyone to turn to. But that’s exactly why should start thinking about it now so that in the future if things don’t change or start improving, you will be able to have a place to go. Please prioritize your happiness, maybe even seek help from a couples therapy. Good luck on your journey!

Hi! I've gone through similar situation, so I am assuming this is an attachment issue. But I am not an expert and so I can't confirm it. I would suggest you to look into avoidant attachment style traits and check if that matches your boyfriend's behavior. You will get a more clear idea from the contents than me explaining here, so I am not gonna dive into the details. I am glad that you're starting to question already, detecting the patterns early will save you lots of heartaches and pain.

Please don't be hard on yourself, whatever this is, it's not your fault. Even if he's just busy or depressed, you are not the cause of that. Don't keep wondering if anything is wrong with the relationship, it will make you anxious. Take care of yourself, you're also suffering because of your boyfriend's difficulties. Go on a vacation if you feel like it or do something that you both like. I know it's easier said than done, but sometimes a bit of a pause is all you need. I really wish everything gets sorted out soon.