New mom - relationship issues
quickwittedSouth5459
July 1st, 2025
I am a new mom and i work from home so I'm with the baby all the time while my husband leaves for work. He helps with house chores and everything but whenever i ask him to watch the baby becayse i need a time to myself (a nap, going to the store or to the salon..) he starts venting and we fight and i feel very hurt. Even if after that he does take care of the baby, i just feel resentment towards him for saying hurtful things. I decided not to ask him for anything anymore and to be this independent woman , but i feel that I resent him more and more because he's the reason I'm not able to have a break or to take care of myself
Aayla
July 2nd, 2025
@quickwittedSouth5459 you have every right to take time for yourself, and you should not give up on it. If you keep overloading yourself with work and childcare, eventually you'll burn out, you won't be as effective in your work, and you'll become more and more exhausted, with inevitable consequences on your mental health and your relationship.
Your husband can't just say hurtful things and opt out of parenting because you don't want to keep fighting: two people made the baby, two people need to take care of it, and he can't get away with it that easily. He needs to understand that taking care of the child is non-negotiable. Explain your reasons firmly, remind him that you're taking care of both work and childcare, but childcare is a 24/7 job unlike other types of work, so you're basically working all day without a break. Remind him that you won't be able to take of everything much longer, if you burn out and never catch a breath. If he doesn't understand your reasons and keeps fighting and hurting your feelings rather than compromising, give him an ultimatum, if you have to. If he wants to leave you alone in parenting, you might as well be a lone parent, period. But trust me, being a strong woman doesn't mean sacrificing everything and destroying your mental health because your partner refuses to take responsibility. It means standing up for yourself firmly. Your mental health, your relationship, a lot of things are at stake here, and bottling it up and sacrificing yourself is not the solution.
