No One to Talk to
You're going to think I am just being too sensitive!
I'm stuck in a weird three-way relationship so this is who I'm talking about: my boyfriend and his second girlfriend...
Well, I'm kind of hurt but also kind of numb because I am feeling disrespected today. The other girlfriend is on lunch at work, so he called her to chat like they usually do. And, well, first thing he did was tell her I'm grumpy and complaining (completely unprompted by the way) and her immediate respond was "No one is listening anyway."
He didn't defend me or anything, which doesn't surprise me. Just... hurts.
Well, while I was writing this, he did it again. Completely unprompted.
So now I told him the issue and his response is to repeatedly and calmly say, "I'm not going to change who I am." And he called me mean.
Who the *** do I even go to for this? I can't go to friends because I would bother them. I can't go to family. I can't go to the 7Cups chat because often times I get ignored unless I'm being positive. I tried not to come back to the forums but I feel alone so I came back anyway. I don't feel right talking to Listeners because it's a struggle making it work.
I just feel so alone and bullied by the only people I rely on for support and survival right now. I can't just leave them either. Don't just tell me to leave because I don't have the privilege.
Not to mention he was snapping at me earlier over something I wasn't even involved in, and I went silent instead of highlighting it because I can't just do what he does.
Aaaaand now he randomly came and kissed on me while I was typing this (he didn't see though because I shut off my screen). I feel uncomfortable and confused.
And now he's arguing with me about my reactions and his reactions and how I was hiding my screen. How that is suspicious (that is fair. I would think the same in his shoes). And he said I'm not being a good person right now.
Am I a bad person? Maybe. Perhaps I should stop fighting the accusation.
@BusyBird See, now we are getting along again after all that and it feels weird. However, I am tired, and I almost snapped a couple of times while writing this post, so I welcome the relief of peace.
When I post things like this, especially after things get good again, I am always filled with guilt. I often try to get my posts removed after the guilt arrives.
@BusyBird
How do you coonect allwritten above with that phrase "Am i a bad person'"? Do you show self-pity like this? If so, he wiould victimize you.
In my opinion, you are really a victim ofthe situtation, but you are not a prey.
And yes, you'd better reconsider your relationship.
@RedOceanSun I am confused. What are you asking?
Hours later and I still feel terrible. I still have nowhere to go with... any of this. I keep trying to reach out without being forceful, but it yields no results.
Maybe I am meant to experience all of this. This would explain why people seem to enjoy throwing me under the bus, or at least don't care much when I express that it hurts.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. You are not being too sensitive at all. Feeling disrespected like that—especially when your partner vent/talks behind your back and enables someone else to put you down—is genuinely painful. Your feelings are 100% valid
@Sharing3312 Thank you 🤎 It's been bugging me for days now. Like, I just can't as easily let go of this instance.