Old wounds

I divorced my ex husband almost 7 years ago, and we've managed to keep a sort of friendship, or at least amiability. Last week he left the mother of his youngest kids, and he's realized how badly he screwed up with me. I've since moved on, and am now quite happily engaged to an amazing man. The trouble is that I thought I had healed from the past, but now that my ex is starting his healing journey, he's started apologizing, and reminding me of things I don't want to re-live. Also, my fiancée has paranoid schizophrenia, which is over all managed, but the paranoia still peeks out sometimes. I was sick most of the week last week, and didn't get to see him much since last Monday, so he was a little upset, worried that I was gonna leave him, when I got back home yesterday (I was with his daughter at a ladies retreat Saturday and Sunday where, of course my phone died Saturday and I grabbed the wrong cord when packing).

Friday evening I had promised my mom I'd do something with her (I didn't want to go, but that's a whole other story), which required me leaving his house a few hours earlier, and he, not meaning anything by it said "it's ok, I'm used to you leaving in the evening", as I don't sleep at his house anyway. My brain took that as the weapon my ex used to use when I displeased him "it's ok, I'm used to it" so all weekend I was really feeling that wound reopened by my ex and accidentally touched by my fiancée. When I got back and fiancée was grumpy, I felt awful for a few minutes, until we talked it out, and communicated our fears to each other. Before long we were back to laughing and having a good evening.

I'm not sure what my goal was in typing this all out. I guess just to look at it from a different perspective, and now I see that I can't be the one my ex goes to, even in the guise of apologies or child support questions. Also, keep communicating clearly with my soon to be husband, and I can't let my mom keep pressuring me into things.