Penny for your thoughts: When self-awareness isn't enough
We talk a lot in this community about healing from difficult partners, but I’m curious about the other side of the coin. What happens when someone realizes they are the toxic one in their relationship? Imagine a scenario where a person knows their frequent mood swings and impatience are hurting a genuinely kind, innocent partner. They have the maturity to recognize they are the "perpetrator" and not the victim, but they feel too stuck in their patterns to actually stop the behavior. How does someone in that position bridge the gap between knowing they are doing damage and actually changing?
@BomberMario292 This is a wonderful question! Whoa, very deep and really allows one to think. Here's what I believe on this whole thing:
1. The fact the person is aware of their actions is everything. To actually be able to own up to it and admit "I'm hurting this person..." is commendable. Often times, being aware our actions are not ideal or kind, even violent or aggressive, takes courage to actually admit. So to admit this is huge! 👏
2. Now that we can own it... now it's time to make decisions. What are we going to do next? The next time we are mad or hurt, will be continue with this behavior? Will we keep hurting the ones we are supposed to love and care for? What is this really doing? Nothing good.
3. Why are we like this? Here we need to identify the reasons. We need to be truly honest with ourselves.
4. Involve outside people. Seek out for help to help you want to change. Change is hard but very possible. Sometimes we need people or professionals to help. It's ok to admit we have a problem and get help for it. No one deserves to be abused or mistreated.
5. With that last thing I said... realize that sometimes we have to make sacrifices. If we are hurting people, then we have to know they deserve better and sometimes for their wellbeing and protection... we need to be the one to remove ourselves.
Our actions have consequences and, being honest, certain things have no place taking place. It'll end up getting people put somewhere no one likes to be. Do we value freedom? Of course. We just need to do better. It all starts with acknowledging it and moving forward to make changes.
I'm no professional nor do I have knowledge in this thing. I'm just a real person who suffers with my own share of mental health problems and issues and have been on all seats on the rollercoaster. Anyway, I hope all involved is safe and free of harm. Everyone deserves that!