People Can Change, But That Doesn't Mean They Will (Part 2)
Once you realize the need for change, you’ll move through a few stages:
- contemplation: thinking about the change
- preparation: getting ready for the change
- action: implementing the change
- maintenance: sticking with the change over time
It’s common (and very normal) to experience setbacks along the way. The factors below can help improve your chances of a successful outcome.
Motivation
Outlining some of the reasons behind your desire for change can help you feel more committed. When you get stuck or discouraged, these reasons can renew your desire to keep trying.
If a loved one shares difficulties making progress with a change, help boost their motivation by reminding them of what they’re working toward and what they stand to gain.
Visualization
Visualizing yourself succeeding at your goals can help your brain believe you actually can succeed. The more you believe in yourself, the greater your chances of improvement.
Positive feedback and support
When you hesitate to acknowledge the possibility of change, you give others less motivation to make an attempt. They might think, “Why bother if no one has faith in me?”
You can help increase a loved one’s chances of success by offering encouragement instead of doubt.
Try:
- asking about their progress
- praising their attempts
- joining them in making positive change
Effort (not ability)
Getting stuck on your perception of your abilities can sometimes stop you before you even get started.
For example:
- “Talking first is too much, so I’ll start by smiling and making eye contact.”
- “I’ll introduce myself to one new person each week.”
- “Today, I’ll say hello to two coworkers.”
After you successfully complete these smaller steps, the end goal might seem more achievable.
You can also encourage a loved one with this strategy. As they practice a new behavior or work to break a habit, offer encouragement and recognition of their effort instead of focusing on end results.
Source: https://www.healthline.com/health/do-people-change
Have you ever tried to change for your loved ones? Share below <3
Read part 1!
#Relationships #Change #Growth
@calmDew1576
Hi Dew, I loved the article. It was really insightful and lovely to read.
I tried changing for my family but realized there is no point. (I’m gay and tried to pretend I wasn’t because they wouldn’t accept it.) Another one is changing how I get my anger out. I would just slam the door, which isn’t great because we grew up poor so the door would have to be replaced if I broke it. I learned how to let go of anger in other ways that wouldn’t damage things and people around.