Please help me
Hi! I am new here. And I was diagnosed with anxiety years ago. But recently I figured out I have a fear of commitment/marriage. I was going on dates since I was 17. But I am not a social person, so the number of the dates isn't that much. But I didn't let any of them last. I always found some problem with the guys. I was comforting myself that they weren't the one I was looking for. When things get serious, I have a tendency to escape. I self sabotage my possible relationships. I get so anxious before any date. I can't sleep or eat. I can say that I haven't been in a serious relationship ever. And I am 29. Two months ago, I started dating with a guy that had everything that I wanted. We spent more than a month with each other. But I didn't find him attractive at all so I had to end it before it got worse for both of us. I tried so hard to feel something for him. But that didn't help either. A few day ago I went on a date and the anxiety was awful. I am scared that this will go on like this. I want to love someone, be in relationship and share. How can I overcome this fear? Please help me.
@Tugce1995
I think in the case of anxiety and commitment issues we try to view things like a resume or something. If you ever hired someone you chose the best candidate but very few will check all the boxes..... and the reality is some who interview well and on paper look good ... can't or won't ... fill the role. like we expect. Dating when used as a never ending job interview you will always find flaws and weakness.
We cannot control if there is no attraction.... but that seems out of our control but this is needed IMO.
You will have give and take in a relationship and that goes for everyone. Sometimes opposites attract and can stay together even with differences.
Thank you for answering. You gave me a different perspective on relationships. I like the job interview metaphor.
