Possible divorce
Hello. Sorry for my english. I'm spanish and I've used a transistor.
I've been having trouble sleeping for about two and a half months now. I can't stop overthinking everything. I'm having marital problems. I think we will end up getting a divorce in the end. Let's just say I've been putting up with everything during the 30 years we've been together, and I have finally reached my breaking point. I told him that since he isn't changing, I will have to be the one to do it. I don't want to be with him anymore because, during all this time, his jealousy has stripped me of my freedom. There is no trust on his part, and none on mine either. I am completely exhausted. He is very scared and has promised to change once again; on top of that, he has other flaws that have damaged our relationship even further. I am aware that he has made a huge effort to change over the last few months, but this is nothing compared to the time we've been together. Besides, I think he's only doing it because of the current situation, and I'm sure that if I tell him I'll stay, he will go back to the way he was. It wouldn't be the first time.We have 3 children and a mortgage. It's difficult for us to separate. In fact, neither of us wants to be away from them for even a single day if we end up divorcing and get joint custody. On top of that, I have another matter consuming most of my thoughts throughout the day that influences all of this, which I prefer not to speak about out of shame... I'm not ready.I would like someone to give me some words of support, to tell me anything. I haven't been able to share what I'm going through with anyone. Only with my sister, and just a few things.Thank you for listening to me."
@gregariousCat205
You are not alone many have been down that path. Long term we make changes we compromise we accept their limits etc.
At a certain point though we reach where we simply have given all we can and do not want to be with them anymore... my partner even if he could change, I do not feel I would care at this point. We can still love them but not be IN love with them and that is a miserable existence to pretend we still are.
We gave them chance after chance to change or listen or grow but had minimal response.... It is better to wrap it up and divorce... Instead of finding yourself back where you are now. The anger becomes at ourselves for not moving on years ago.
it is a big change and being prepared is important. The more you Discuss and work on division of things in the split it can be friendly and the kids will adjust in time. Be honest and Clear in all your discussions and do not fall for desperate false promises of change that most likely will be short lived.
