Questionable emotions?
I have like.. this weird feeling whenever someone confessed or tries to take a step forward in a relationship with me, whether it’s a friendship or more. But I get a weird sense that my heart is being squeezed and the blood is like squish! Is that too much? I don’t know, it’s weird. It’s not just one person though I’ve done that with all the girlfriends and boyfriends but I’m okay with having a close friendship with my friend for, going on, 9 years???? I just freak out, I think it might be either because I don’t want to disappoint, you know? Or like accidentally change into someone they didn’t want. Right? I don’t know, this is so weird…!!
@Bellabird3583
This could be a self esteem issue, as you say, you feel like you might disappoint them so you pull away, but surely that's for them to decide whether you disappoint them or not. It's highly likely that you're thinking irrationally, stemming from poor self esteem and that the majority of people will be happy to know you, and if they're not, then they're not the right person for you. Your long term friendship may have formed when self esteem issues weren't such an issue for you, before it became a bigger issue. Or you may be worried about letting people in because they could hurt or disappoint you in some way too?