Really lost
Previously my boyfriend and I would spend a lot of time together. But in the month of June he was traveling a lot and our communication wasn’t that great. I kinda started feeling like I wasn’t a priority and I would get really sad. When he finally came back from the trip, we hung out. And he went to work and the night he got off from work he said he would be free the next day. But the next day when we would text it barely felt like he was really being active. Later on I found out that he was busy. But I was so angry and upset that I told him that he was a bad boyfriend, that I deserved someone better, that I was feeling abused because he didn’t seem to listen, that I wasn’t happy. He was really hurt by all of this. So I told him that we just needed a few hours apart. When I wanted to talk to him again he didn’t want to talk. So I told him that we could talk the next day. The next day comes up we kinda chat about the convo but not really because he had work. He left for work and on his way to work texted me and told me that we needed to go 3 days no contact so that he could figure out the best way to show up for me. After the 3 days were over he broke up with me. He told me that he wanted me to be happy and for me to find someone else. In that moment I just cried I didn’t really say much. And I asked why he couldn’t break up with me in person and he told me that it would be too hard for him to let me go. But he wants to let. Me go so that I can find someone better. But I didn’t mean anything that I said to him. He’s an amazing boyfriend. And it’s been almost 2 weeks. And he blocked me on everything so that he could move on. But it’s always been him. Since the beginning. When I first met him his eyes were so dark but as I got to know him more they got brighter. I’m in love with every part of him and I did something so terrible. He talked about marrying me, about getting me a promise ring, about children. About everything. I’m thinking about reaching out to him through one of my friends and just talking to him. I’ve cried every day since the break up and I literally just feel so lost without him. I don’t feel like myself. He was the person I went to express myself. He’s helped me understand my feelings more. It just hurts. And today would have made 10 months since we officially became boyfriend and girlfriend but we were pursuing each other romantically for a while before that. Should I reach out to him today? Pls help. What if I reach out to him and he doesn’t want me back. What if he hates me? We were both sobbing uncontrollably when he broke up with me.
@sunskymoon210
Oh sweetheart, my heart truly goes out to you. What you're feeling is incredibly real and deeply painful and no, you are not crazy, dramatic, or unworthy for hurting this much. This wasn’t just a relationship. It was a connection, a part of your daily life, your future, your comfort, and your heart. Losing that especially the way it happened leaves an ache that words often fall short of soothing. You didn’t mean to hurt him. You were hurting yourself. You were overwhelmed, sad, scared of losing the closeness you once had. That doesn’t make you a bad person it makes you human. We all say things in moments of pain and confusion that we wish we could take back. That doesn’t erase all the love and the good you brought into the relationship And I can tell just by the way you talk about him you really loved him. Still do. That love you carry is tender and true, and it’s okay that you want to reach out. Wanting to fix something meaningful doesn’t make you weak. It means you have a brave and caring heart. But here’s the hard part: you have to prepare yourself for any response. He might not be ready to hear from you. He might still be hurt, or afraid of more pain. That doesn’t mean he hates you. That doesn’t mean your love wasn’t real. Sometimes people block out the things that hurt the most and that’s what makes this so difficult. Because while you’re trying to hold on to what you had, he might be trying to protect himself from how much it hurts to lose it. So if you decide to reach out, do it with love, not expectation. Do it to express yourself honestly, not to control the outcome. Maybe say what’s on your heart not to win him back, but so you can have peace knowing you didn’t leave it unsaid. Something simple, like:
> “I know you may not want to hear from me, and I respect your space. But I just want you to know that I never stopped loving you. I’ve had a lot of time to reflect and realize how deeply I hurt you, and I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean any of the cruel things I said. You were a wonderful boyfriend, and you mattered so much to me. I’ll always wish the best for you.”
That kind of message honors both his boundaries and your truth. And whatever happens whether he responds, doesn’t, or needs more time you can hold your head high knowing you chose honesty and love. You are not broken. You’re just heartbroken. And it will take time. But even in this darkness, you're showing so much emotional strength facing pain, reflecting, wanting to make amends. That’s the sign of someone growing, someone healing And I promise you, no matter what happens next, you will find yourself again. You’ll feel whole again. Whether it’s with him in the future or someone new, or just learning to stand strong on your own you will get through this.
I’m here for you. And you're not alone. ❤️