Relationship Financial Strain

I’m feeling really insecure and out of touch in my relationship. He doesn’t like my attitude with having no money and wants to separate money and for me to get a job. He chooses not to tell me things because he worries I’ll just go blab about it to people and doesn’t like how open I am with information with my friends.

He said he doesn’t like the way I carry myself in certain situations and that he feels disconnected because no matter how much he communicates I still don’t understand or have confidence in him and his vision for the future. He runs his own business and I quit my job 7 months ago to help him full time.

His coping mechanism is to retreat into himself and compartmentalize and he said he wishes I could compartmentalize some of my feelings and not wear everything on my sleeve and show everyone what I’m going through. He says he wishes I could have quiet confidence.

I shouldn’t have asked him about money for a friends trip next month in front of my friends at my birthday party. I shouldn’t have to ask him at all. I should be understanding that we literally don’t have any money, we’re in debt and just need to get through.

When I am in emotional turmoil his response is to distance himself and let me go through it alone. I feel very disconnected from my husband and I feel like he has to do everything and I am incapable. I struggle with feeling lesser than him and like I am not contributing.

When he is stressed or upset he distances himself and I feel like there is nothing I can do to help. I wish I could close the gap and figure out how to get through to him and feel like we can connect on this level.