Relationship advice
Hi. I’m not in therapy yet but I’m trying to get there. I’m looking for support or advice from people who’ve dealt with family trauma, boundary struggles, or felt abandoned by the people closest to them.
In the months leading up to my wedding, my dad who is bipolar said a lot of cruel and confusing things. He told me he might not come, said my fiancé’s dad could walk me down the aisle, and constantly picked fights. A domestic violence incident happened shortly before the wedding, and he ended up in jail. He wasn’t able to attend, and he still blames everyone but himself.
My mom also lashed out at me in the middle of everything, especially when I was already down. Now we’re spending time together again, and I want to enjoy it — but I feel unresolved anger. It’s like everyone moved on and I’m still holding the pieces.
I feel like I lost everyone at once. I’m stuck between anger, guilt, and wanting peace but I don’t know how to get there. My dad is looking to be in my life again and my mother’s. It makes me angry at her and hate him even more. I expected this to be the final straw for her. Everyone in my family is so used to this cycle and so am I but I’m just realizing how bad it is.
If anyone’s been through something like this, how did you move forward and do you have any advice for me?
I will also add that on my wedding day she was distant and cold to me. My dad only sent me a text. It’s been three months but I still have so much anger. He told me that this was all a consequence of my actions. The fight that occurred was over the fact that I chose to have my grandma take over the hair payment and he thought that was disrespectful.
@faith012,
do you get support from your partner and his family?
