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Relationship issue

User Profile: FY23
FY23 July 11th, 2025

I've been with my partner for 3 years and things have changed throughout this time. He isn't the type to be emotionally intelligent neither listen or addresses any problems I have brought up. I have asked to break up quite a few times and the latest time I did, he magically changed and basically begged me to stay and said stuff like "I want forever with you". Now, I'm glad he has changed but I just don't feel the same way anymore, I don't have feelings for him anymore.

I believe I deserve better but I also feel so selfish for leaving him after all these years and not saying anything about it earlier. He only makes effort to change whenever I want to end the relationship. Please give me some advice, should I end it once and for all or continue to stay?

2
User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 July 11th, 2025

@FY23

 You are not alone

it is a let down when we are ready to walk out the door and then they can make effort. the effort we knew they could have before.  It was a choice  to not change until then .

We told ourselves that if only they would ... a b or c things would be better.  Then in a moment we saw it will always be a battle to and at a certain point it is no longer worth it.   choosing to  leave even with time spent in the relationship is self love.  ...  and time served.  We can only speak up when we See it ourselves and my bet is you told yourself the change would fix things ... it did not so both partners  deserve to be with a person who wants to be in a relationship with them . NOT just after an ultimatum  

User Profile: FaithfulScout
FaithfulScout July 12th, 2025

@FY23

I’m not sure if just saying, “I want forever with you" means that a person has changed.

What are other ways that show you he is acting differently than he does? And has the change been consistent over time. For example, I used to make lots of promises that I couldn’t keep. When I realized this, with help from my mentor and friends (not because my partner asked me) … I saw that my change in behavior brought a little more peace into our relationship.