Relationship issues

Not sure if my original post went through or not but it doesn’t look like it did so here we go. Not sure how this is supposed to go. I am a 30 year old male and have recently been hurting women. Not in a physical sense but mentally. Meaning I have been doing this thing where I get excited and want a relationship with someone and when I express that i immediately want out a couple days later and break things off and then go back to them and apologize and then say I want to try again but then break things off again days later. It has caused me to think I am a bad person and will not ever find someone. Obviously it has caused a lot of heartache to the women I have done this to. I try very hard to be a good person and then I do things like this. One little thing that I do not agree with will cause me to think I don’t want the relationship. I have had long lasting passionate relationships in the past that did not work out was with someone for 10 years and then another for 2years. Those have been my longest relationships. My mom passed away when I was 19 and my parents divorced in middle school so I’m not sure if those things have anything to do with it I just have a hard time finding the why. Any help would be greatly appreciated if possible. Thank you in advance.