Relationships after abuse

My previous relationship 4 years ago was mostly verbally abusive.

I have been with my partner for 3 years now. We've had ups and downs. We have been living together for almost a year. He has had a sudden shift in the way he speaks to me. He is short when I'm trying to help, he get a nasty tone in his voice and stands above me when he does it. I feel so small and belittled when he does this.

We talked about this last weekend and he said he would work on it. He got short a few times this weekend and I just tried to blow it off. It was our anniversary kayak trip. I didn't want to ruin it.

We get back on Sunday and talked to my parents. I found out my father has a mass on his thyroid which is pretty scary in itself. He never asked if I was okay or how I felt about it.

We go to get in the shower and he said he wants to shower by himself. We joke around about it and I get in the tub. I'm sore and pretty upset about my father's news. We had talked about looking at cars when we were both done.

He comes up once I've been in the tub for awhile and asks if I'm really upset that he didn't shower with me. I told him I wasn't upset and that I was just enjoying the tub. He then got that nasty tone of voice, stood over top of me and told me he thought we were looking at cars and complaining that I had been in there for too long.

I broke down and balled while I finished bathing. I came downstairs and told him that the shower was free. He followed me into the kitchen and asked if I was really upset over this. I told him I'm sick of being treated this way and that I needed some space.

He slept on the couch last night. We haven't talked all day. He wouldn't talk to me when I came home.

How do you guys deal with disrespect? I'm out of ideas. I really don't want to break up with this guy.