Relationship - tug of war
My partner and I aren't emotionally connected like we used to be. They voiced their concerns and I was shell shocked. We've been together for over 10 years and they dropped this bomb on me. I'm scrambling to do anything I can to keep this boat afloat but I'm worried that they've already departed emotionally. I'll say "I love you" and they'll say it back but I can tell it isn't genuine.
I'm trying to change and be a better partner. I don't ask much of them but I feel like the effort isn't reciprocated. I don't want to express my thoughts without worrying of chasing them away. There is this constant pain in my chest and I put on a brave face in front of them because I know if I show any emotion, they'll shutdown.
They are the love of my life and every year my love for them has grown stronger and stronger. My partner mentioned pain points through our relationship and I've done what I thought was best to address them at the time. I'm so tired and sad and scared of losing them. I know this isn't healthy for my mental capacity but I'm too focused on losing them to worry about myself.
I think I just wanted to vent to the void. Thanks for listening.
@generousDogma621 It sounds like you're going through an incredibly challenging and painful time right now. The realization that there's a disconnect in your relationship after being together for over a decade must be incredibly difficult to process. It's clear how much you love your partner and how deeply you're affected by the possibility of losing them. Feeling like your efforts to improve the relationship aren't being reciprocated can be incredibly disheartening. It's understandable that you're feeling exhausted, sad, and scared about what the future holds. The pain you're experiencing is real and valid, and it's ok to feel like this at times.
It's evident that you're committed to making things work and that you've been actively trying to address any issues that have arisen throughout your relationship. It's important to remember that relationships require effort and communication from both sides, and it's okay to express your needs and concerns in a safe and respectful manner. Venting can be a really helpful to let go of our emotions even a bit and it's brave of you to reach out and share your thoughts and feelings it really does takes a lot! also remember that you're not alone, and that we are here for you. Take care of yourself and prioritize your own well-being as you navigate these challenges.
Thank you for the support. You're right. I was releasing my pent up feelings. I'm working trying to stay collected when I talk with my partner.
@generousDogma621
Hi there. I’m really sorry to hear what you’re going through. It sounds incredibly tough, especially after being together for so long. Here are a few thoughts that might help:
Acknowledge Their Feelings: Let your partner know that you hear them and understand their concerns. Sometimes, just knowing that you’re truly listening can make a big difference. Hopefully your partner will learn to do the same.
Open Communication: Try to create a safe space where both of you can share your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or chasing each other away. It’s important to communicate openly and honestly.
Focus on Yourself Too: It’s important to take care of your own mental health. When you’re in a better place mentally, you’ll be more capable of being the supportive partner you want to be.
Small Steps: Sometimes big changes can feel overwhelming. Start with small, meaningful gestures to show your partner that you’re committed to making things work. Consistency is key.
Quality Time: Spend quality time together doing things you both enjoy. Rekindling old hobbies or trying new activities can help rebuild your connection.
Patience and Understanding: Healing and reconnecting takes time. Be patient with yourself and your partner as you both navigate this difficult period.
It’s clear you deeply care about your partner and are willing to put in the effort to make things work. Venting can be really helpful, so don’t hesitate to reach out for support when you need it.
Take care of yourself and stay strong. 💛
