Retroactive Jealousy - Threatened, Insecure, and obsessively jealous of my boyfriend's past relationships.
I am suffering from acute retroactive jealousy. I get obsessively preoccupied with my boyfriend's past relationships and constantly compare myself to his ex girlfriends and feel horribly inferior. He is a very understanding and compassionate person who constantly reassures and supports me. I feel like a horrible person for being so obsessed with something that happened years back and I constantly feel so immature and superficial for being this way. I know he doesn't deserve this. I know this is so unfair to him. I feel this way in terms of his sexual history as well. I feel as if he was sexually more active and intimate in his previous relationship and he is not so much with me. I feel so pathetic and depressed all the time for continuously comparing everything and being perpetually jealous. I have never been a jealous person in any of my previous relationships. This is my first time encountering something like this and I feel so helpless. I have been trying to overcome this for almost 1.5 years but all in vain.
@LJ14
So you did not have this sort of jealousy in past relationships but you do in this one.... I think either you are more worried about this one ever ending... or you have other issues causing this.
I know we say things like "i do not know why" on various issues but IMO more often then not we do know what it is and just do not want it to be that reason.
The past is the past ... if he wanted to be somewhere else he would be... these thoughts are robbing you of the present.
how can you compare yourself to them? ...only by appearance or his description of their personality ...? because if you do not know them....... you cannot see what you have they do not.... sense of humor / intellect/ compassion does not show in photos....
i have seen a person from my partners past i thought was way more attractive then me ... then i found out they were DULL and could not hold a conversation. looks fade / no personality is forever.