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Sick of it. How do i meet new people???

User Profile: optimisticWatermelon4320
optimisticWatermelon4320 July 11th, 2023

Im getting sick of waiting around for someone who i like appears magically in my life. Like i get it, i dont get to meet new people almost never. Im a dentist and i tend to get older patients so no one actually my age, also i do my posgraduate course but we are all women there, and then i dont do any activities where i can meet new people. Everytime i go out dancing i get sick of all the men that get close because they tend to be kind of disgusting. Everyone tells me it will come when you least expect it but COME ON im almost 27 and ive never been in a relationship. Im sick of it. Ive only been in a situationship but it quickly ended because he had to move away because of school so… im so tired of this. Im also tired of me expecting my life will change because someone starts dating me.


any and all advice is really really really appreciated💙💙

5
User Profile: hopefulPond6108
hopefulPond6108 July 11th, 2023

@optimisticWatermelon4320 Hi. Here is some advice. You get what you pay for, so full refund if you don’t find it credible.


How about taking more control of your dating life? Suppose you find someone through a dating site that seems promising. Go to coffee with them or something where you can just enjoy their company (or eject quickly if it’s not feeling right). Don’t invest with hopes of a relationship. The goal should be to have this one pleasant conversation. You can even find sites that will curate your matches for you so you don’t spend all your time surfing.

If you meet someone on a site, don’t chat with them for a long time before meeting. Much better to meet them in person and have something to talk about. If you each tell each other a large chunk of your life story and then meet, it’s hard for small talk to get you to a smooth on-ramp to deeper conversation.

Alcohol and dancing or other activities might be a way to meet people, but to me it feels random. They are activities that can almost be distractions from actually meeting people.

People meeting through a dating site both have an instant thing in common. They both are looking for relationship. If you meet for coffee rather than alcohol you are assured that your potential date is man enough to show up without the crutch of alcohol. You can both give each other full attention. Does not mean you can’t move on to drinks later, but beware of the guy who starts with needing a buzz to meet you.

Do lots of these dates until you find someone. If you find you don’t like keeping it simple like this, that you don’t actually enjoy the date itself, maybe you’re looking for the “magic” meeting to happen by itself. Happens that way on the movies and yeah once in awhile in real life, but in my experience, don’t not look for that magic they say will come when you’re not looking. You have to “not look” for a long time to find magic. Be purposeful about meeting people. Make it a fun thing to do - that is, with hope for romance but without expectation - and no timeline. Just enjoy your date’s company. Enjoy the hilarity of the bad date as well. Learn from the dates that you fail at, and you will have a bad day and just won’t be the great date you usually are. Yeah, you need some kind of strategy to move the date along in a pleasant way. You need to be learning how to make this an experience that you enjoy and that your date enjoys.
User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 July 11th, 2023

@optimisticWatermelon4320

I understand how annoying it is when people say things like people come along when you least expect or are not looking etc.... i find this has been true in my case and was not looking when i met my 2 relationships. If you are looking do you know what you are looking for? both serious relationships i have had at first i did not look at either as my match but we clicked after talking and spending time, if i had decided in first day or two i might be alone.

others will plan out like a detailed plan for dating sites or other things and come away feeling disgusted and generally tired of waiting. seemingly seeing each possibility has flaws and not what you set out looking for..... there are good and bad with each approach ........

Much like clothes shopping......you will come across several "no thanks" before you find a good fit and something you are happy with ........

are their any professional organizations you could join if wanting to meet someone with similar career.... do you have any hobbies like hiking or book clubs , wine tasting you could join and if someone is not there often some people know someone etc.


User Profile: Johnnybgud5150
Johnnybgud5150 July 11th, 2023

@optimisticWatermelon4320 Hi. I'm sorry you are struggling with this. I just have a couple of things. First just get out and do things you enjoy doing, Either alone or find groups in your area that do things you like as well. There you will meet people with the same interests as you. Second ,I tell people if you want to catch a fish you need to go where the fish are. If you want a particular type of fish you need to go where those are. You will not catch a beautiful trophy fish in a dirty little pond. Remember the song, Lookin for love in all the wrong places. ...Seek and ye shall find. There is someone out there right now looking for YOU. Patience. You are still young.

User Profile: RogueOne1983
RogueOne1983 July 11th, 2023

@optimisticWatermelon4320 I have a friend he did meet his wife through a dating app they have now been married for years, with children!

Uh you have to get out into the community. Want to meet real quality men? Go volunteer. Church can be iffy. A guy spending his Saturday at a soup kitchen or hoeing a community garden is the sort you can build a future with.

User Profile: H0pefulWanderer
H0pefulWanderer July 11th, 2023

@optimisticWatermelon4320 Arguably, the easiest way to meet people today is through apps and websites designed specifically for the purpose of meeting new people. Whether they're dating or friendship apps, there's so many opportunities out there! If you're open to taking an extra step and meeting people offline, then you can join a fun/interesting class at a local community college; join a club or sport at the local community center; pick up a volunteer opportunity; visit a cafe by yourself.