Silent treatments and accusations
My boyfriend accuses me of looking at other men when infacr I don't. We went to the mall the other day and sat at a restaurant and he was sitting in a spot where a lot of other people were behind him. Naturally as I was talking to him I would look him in the eyes and sometimes look around to think of what I'm saying but never at men.As we got back home he talks about it and it escalates from there.eventually a lot of disrespect took place and now the silent treatment has commenced. I have called, texted and given to his demands but continues to ignore me and I don't know if he broke up with me or not. I feel stuck in a rabbit hole with the same problems, accusations and silent treatments. I don't know what to do anymore and I am severely exhausted by it all. Any advice would be much appreciated
@l9876
In the end what do you want ... to be accused and treated like you did something wrong when you didn't?
a relationship walking on eggshells giving in to a person whom will falsely accuse and play silent treatment to watch how far you will grovel to be back in his good graces... that is IMO abusive and NOT a healthy relationship. It is not worth being on defense all the time.
Thank you, I do realize and understand all this but for some reason I feel really hurt and can't let go. He was the first person I shared and opened up to.
@l9876
I understand and i think we hold on for various reasons including that we opened up and shared and at one point felt so close and pictured a future. when things start to go badly we hold on. I think in some ways we do not like letting go of our plan/ vision for future NOT the person themselves who continue to hurt us.
I go through this on a daily basis and I don’t know what to do anymore. I try so hard every day of my life to show him I want h and only him. I don’t check other guys out at all. I don’t care who is out there. It’s so stressful to go through life dealing with this. I’m sorry you’re going through it too. The constant accusations hurt so bad. Every single accusation my fiancé has accused me of had always been wrong. I try reassuring but I just get called a liar. I cry all the time. He’s a really good guy but I can’t take much more of the accusing.
@l9876,
Looks like your partner shows some signs of morbid or even obsessive jealousy. Maybe he is lacking of self esteem, he feels not good enough. He is afraid of rejection or betrayal, and even some small glance at someone can trigger his emotions.
This can be exhausting for both of you. You might feel suffocated and unfairly treated when he will live in constant fear of loosing you. By ignoring you, he tries to make you feel guilty and check how much you care.
Think about yourself first. You can't be punished for something you haven't done. If nothing gonna change in your relationship, over time you will feel emotionally drained, tired and slowly loose yourself just to keep up the pace.
Keep your head up, dont waste your tears. I'm sending some hugs 🫂
