Starting over is hard
Hey, I don’t usually do this or share my problems or feelings, so bear with me.
About two months ago, I broke up with my partner of 8 years. I had to start over completely. We lived in the UK, and I’m originally from Hungary, so I left behind my job, my home, and basically the whole life I’d built over those 8 years. Starting again back in my own country honestly scares me.
The relationship wasn’t perfect. We were on and off for years, and I broke up with her three times in total. I hate even saying this because I don’t want to sound like a victim or just blame her. I stayed, after all. But she was emotionally and sometimes physically abusive. I don’t really know why I stayed as long as I did. I did love her, though, and I believe she loved me too in her own way. But it’s done now. That chapter is closed. I don’t hate her, and I genuinely wish her the best and hope she finds real happiness.
Anyway, I’m rambling.
Lately I just feel empty and numb. I know everyone says time heals and all that, but right now it kind of sucks ***. I have my family, which I’m grateful for, but I don’t have friends here, I don’t have a job at the moment, and I’m anxious about my future. I go to the gym and exercise, but nothing really lifts my mood. I can’t even cry. I want to, but I just can’t.
Any good advice? 😅
Hello 👋🏼
I don’t normally share either, if you don’t mind to bear with me too.
my wife and I have been together almost 10 years now. We’ve been through some hardships. Our first born son died, some time after I thought she had been unfaithful and it ended up with me “stepping out” so to say, and I found out recently that she had done the same. But we are now trying to reconcile our relationship and move forward together again, as I cannot bring myself to hate her as I did the same… but the pain for me is the emotional attachment she had seemed to have for this person… and that it’s only been a few days, maybe a week since I found out.
Anyway, I’m also rambling.
what is helping me right now, honestly? Is that I have a mirror in my dining room that I write on so to be able to read it, you have to stand in front of it. My message to myself in essence, is letting go. Yours does not need to be the same message, but it may help.
journaling has helped too. When I think about the past I simply write it down to get it out.
If you feel the need to cry, crying is a good way I find it helps to feel the emotion instead of bottling it down, that is also a good release before things overflow.
Lastly— A wish jar. Every time I’ve thought of a wish I had. For myself or her. No matter how big or small, I write it down. Fold it up. Initial it. And let it go into the bowl.
I hope this helps you. Sincerely-MD.