Starting to feel like a third wheel in my own relationship
Hi everyone. I'm in a relationship that's just over 3 years now and my girlfriend is my only sexual partner. My girlfriend has had 3 partners (including me) and I am aware of all 3 of them. 1 of them, is a guy she used to be extremely close with. Pretty much best friends. However, for one reason or another, they never ended up dating, despite feelings being shared. It's not like my girlfriend completely friendzoned him or anything though considering he slept with her numerous times.
I'm usually a pretty dominant and confident guy. But, when it comes to him, I have never felt myself, and I usually take a step back from the situation. He has always made me feel a little on edge, and he knows it, too. He is a VERY difficult guy to try and read. He is cocky, confident, controlling and dominant. He isn't your stereotypical jerk boy though.
Why bring this up? It's because years after being out of the picture, he is suddenly getting close with my girlfriend again. My girlfriend expects me to be okay with it all. If anything, she defends him, and their friendship. Promising me there's nothing to worry about in the slightest.
It's all making me feel extremely confused. I don't know how to act about the situation. I genuinely dislike the dude. I'm not sure if it's the conflicting range of emotions I am dealing with right now, or am I simply focusing way too much on their history/past? Perhaps it's my insecurity and jealous acting out here.
Is this normal? Is it weird? I don't know. Just browsing over here hoping to speak to someone with a little more experience, or someone who has gone through a similar situation as mine.
Thanks for reading.
@InsecureandClueless00
You are totally correct to feel this is a possible problem ..... this is a former lover and if he is one making contact he could want to pursue it. ( she does not know his intentions) ...
she may think it is not an issue many think this........ UNTIL something happens .... if you have reservations and a ick feeling about this dude you should feel open to share that with her...
so many times in situations people either play along it is all good and it isn't .... or go overboard and sound petty and jealous ....... only you can gauge the situation... but sharing your concerns and telling her how you feel and keeping your relationship strong is all you can do.
@toughTiger6481 Thanks for your response! Uh, you speak a lot of sense. That's exactly what keeps me on edge about this situation. She may not think it's a problem like you said, and given their history, he could easily pull something off given the right motives. Then, once something does happen, it could already be too late to bounce back from ☹️
Would anyone be open to speaking about this issue on a more long term basis? 😄
