THE APEX OF ISSUES leading to a RESOLUTION?
So, in the process of all of the goings on of my marriage. All the stress, all the anxiety, all of the anger, the depression. The negatives have primarily been the driving factors in this whole ordeal. As it would be expected in this situation. My wife and I have had a unique relationship structure and dynamic. It was a proposal of my own, that being said...it took a turn for the worst and ended up creating a situation for myself that i have been in an intense struggle. Ive been questioning everything and have not been able to deal with any of the external and internal struggles that i and my wife have been dealing with. Through all this, ive given ultimatums, ive issued demands, ive offered compromises, and ive made my points, and i have even started to pack my things to leave the situation all together so that i can get away from the pain i have. While also knowing that the pain would just follow me wherever i ended up. So we're down to this, as of last night...i had an epiphany...in that moment i realized that my focus needed to change drastically. So instead of dwelling and focusing on all the bad things that have been happining, i finally found a resonable solution. My wife and i talked in depth this morning about my epiphany. With this being the true apex of our issues, we were able to look at eachother as people instead of adversaries. We were able to really hear eachothers points, words, meanings, and ideas. For the first time in years....we have FINALLY constructed a viable solution to our situation that caters to us both and leaves room to work on ourselves our situation, and our marriage. Finally, its on a pathway to repair. There still is potential for failure of course but this has a means to an end.
@Ryan575
I really am so genuinely happy for you as I know how difficult this had been fir you and the stress and pain it has caused you!
Really rooting for you both!
💕💜
Thank you, this has been so taxing. Its still going to take some time to decompress from all of this h*ll, but i do think that we may be able to recover. I dont believe that i was being selfish or anything in this but i do think that i was so set on my feelings that i was unable to reframe the reality of this situation in any way but me being completely defeated. Now with that being said, i am defeated in some ways...my wife is still engaging with this man online, she still is not "in love" with me but has told me to my face that she "does love me, and can love me the way i need with time" and that she "wants to love me like that again". Her statement was backed up by her telling me that "if she didnt want to love me that way again, she wouldnt have tolerated all of the things i was doing through this whole situation"...i was not exactly a nice person, a good husband, or anything like that through all of this...Until now. I was not abusive or anything like that but i was torn to shreds emotionally, sometimes delusional, sometimes absolutely just mean...i didnt want to be but i could not for the life of me control my thoughts and emotions most of the times through this. Its been intense and rough. I thank you for all your support, and i will be around...i got my listener account working but i cant figure out how to get it to switch back and forth...i have nothing but love for all of you guys that have followed my posts, offered advice and supported me through all of this. It has been insane and i think i would not have been able to make it to this point without each and every one of you! Thank you!
@Ryan575
It’s wonderful that you were able to communicate openly and work together to find a solution. Listening to each other and focusing on solutions instead of the negatives is a huge step. I wish you both all the best on the path to repair and building a stronger marriage.
Thank you, yes it is good to be in a better place but. The "easy part" is over. Now begins the hopefully life long, abstact, journey into the future. The stains will always be there but hopefully at some point, they can go unnoticed. I hope the opennessand honesty AND transparency will propel us into a solid future. Who knows though, because i WILL NOT for any reason subject myself to feeling these ways ever again! Thank you for your kind words!
