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I caught my boyfriend cheating on me in January 2024. When I found out, he admitted to it, and it started in October 2023. He chose me over the other girl, so I forgave him. But I can’t forget what happened. At first, he was really sorry and tried to prove that he was changing, but after two months, we started arguing every day. I kept bringing up the issue, and he never understood me. He started saying harsh things like, "Your brain is damaged," "Your brain can’t function properly," and "Maybe you’re sick and need medication." It felt like he was blaming me for reacting the way I did. Now, he doesn’t care about me. When I message him, he replies after 6 hours, 8 hours, a day, or sometimes even weeks. He’s always online on his social media, so I can’t help but overthink that maybe he’s seeing someone else again. But when I ask him about it, he says there’s no one else. He told me we need space so that our relationship can go back to normal. But why is this happening? I don’t understand. I’m the one who’s been hurt, but why do I feel like it's my fault?Whenever I ask him why it takes so long for him to reply, he says he’s busy with work. I try to understand because he’s in the military, but I keep gaslighting myself. I’ve supported him throughout his journey, from when he had nothing to when he succeeded in his career. I feel like, for the entire 5 years of our relationship, I’ve been the one acting like the man.A year has passed, and I’m still stuck. All I do every day is cry and feel hurt. I can’t even sleep properly—it's always 3 a.m. when I finally fall asleep, and I always wake up with bad dreams about him cheating on me. I can’t eat properly, and I can’t function like I used to. I even ended up resigning from my job.On March 1, he told me that he loves me and that I’m the one he wants to marry. But after that day, he went back to his usual behavior, ignoring me again. When I questioned him about why he was acting so cold, he said he was just busy. He blocked me on all his social media accounts. I contacted all my friends who have his number and asked them to message him to unblock me. I even sent him an email, begging him not to leave me and to fix things.
@Shnnnn
Oh, my heart aches for you. You’ve been carrying so much pain, so much weight that wasn’t yours to bear, and it’s breaking you down piece by piece. I can feel how deeply you love him, how much you’ve poured into this relationship your time, your support, your forgiveness, your whole self. And yet, here you are, left feeling abandoned, questioning your own worth, and struggling just to get through the day.
Please hear this: this is not your fault. You are not broken. Your pain is not an overreaction. What you’re feeling is the natural response to betrayal, emotional neglect, and the deep, gut-wrenching hurt of loving someone who isn’t loving you back in the way you deserve.
He cheated. He lied. And when you tried to heal, he made you feel like the problem. That’s not love. Love doesn’t make you beg to be chosen. It doesn’t block you out and ignore your pain. It doesn’t leave you crying at 3 a.m., unable to sleep, eat, or even function. Love fights for you, not against you.
I know it’s hard to let go, especially after five years of building a life with someone. But look at what this relationship is doing to you. You’ve lost yourself in trying to hold onto him. You’ve been waiting for him to change, for things to go back to the way they were, but he’s shown you time and time again that he’s not willing to meet you where you are. He says he loves you, but love isn’t just words it’s actions. And his actions have only caused you pain.
You deserve so much more than this cycle of hurt and hope. You deserve peace. You deserve a love that is steady, kind, and safe. I know it feels impossible right now, but you will find yourself again. You will heal. And one day, you will look back and realize that losing him wasn’t the end it was the beginning of finding you.
Please be gentle with yourself. Let yourself grieve, but also remind yourself that you are worth more than this suffering. When you’re ready, start putting yourself first. Even if it’s just one small step a day. You are not alone in this, and you will get through it. I promise.
@16peacefulBraveheart01
I don’t know you personally, but the words you sent me hit me in a way I can’t fully explain. I’ve been trapped in a toxic relationship where I felt like I was carrying everything on my own. I’ve been exhausted, lost, and feeling like no one could understand. But somehow, your message reached me at the right moment, and it brought me the comfort I didn’t know I needed. Reading your kind and thoughtful words made me cry, not out of sadness, but because I finally felt understood. Thank you for reaching out and showing me that there are still people who care, even when I feel so alone.