Time in relationships
Finding the right balance of give and take as well as communication are really important things needed to be in a relationship with someone.
I've been in a relationship for 14 years and both those things are a total mess. We both are now snapping at each other and having arguments every other day. We tried to have a long talk about when we first met to reconnect and feel closer to each other but it left my partner feeling sad and bitter that so much potential has not been grasped. I get told I'm too slow and need hen pecking. But my partner has said because I'm always getting nudged she never knows what is genuine. Now I feel criticised and like I can't do anything right.
Help. How do you keep things on track?
@conscientiousNickel7021
Sorry that you are having to go through this in your relationship, 14 years is a substantial time to spend with someone. But I do understand what you are going through.
My wife and I have been together 42 years and we have had our ups and downs. From about 2004 right up until 2024 we practically just co-habitated in the same house. Last Sept. we went for a long 2 hour walk and talked about everything that was on our minds. We were able to get a few things straightened out and we have been is a really good place now.
Before that we barely communicated openly, one of the biggest things we found out about each other was the we were both feeling lonely. Spending too much time on social media ( I. G.) really, no other platform. We decide to both give it up and now we spend that time together and not on glued to our phones.
I hope you can work things out with your partner.
sending lots of hugs your way. 🤗 🤗 🤗
Hi @braindamag3 thanks it's good to know that it's not just me getting caught up in it all. And good that you have spoken and reconnected with each other. Societal norms like going on social media is mad in the effects it can have on people. Personally I don't tend to go on many of them much as I get annoyed that people exaggerate or say they're having a great time in swanky places when they're really not at all!
I think it's hard when you're in a relationship with someone to still be really true to you. People naturally do things for people they care about and love but I think that's what I'm struggling with at the moment...where does doing something for someone else start and me doing things for me start and end as well. Blurred lines everywhere!!!
