Tired
My boyfriend gets upset a lot and when he gets upset he treats me like the worst person on the plant. I'm tired of this hot and cold. I don't know where I stand in this relationship and feel not respected and unimportant. What do I do? Do I give a chance through therapy? How to keep myself safe?
I also want to mention that he's the first person I've been intimate with and now I regret it.
@orangeKitten3367
Hello. I am sorry to hear about your feeling treated "hot and cold", not respected, unimportant, like "the worst person on the planet".
I believe it is OK to feel angry sometimes and to express anger in a healthy, balanced way. But it is not OK to express anger in a way that is harmful, wounding, threatening or - in particular - abusive to other people and making them feel unsafe.
I am sure you have the right to protect yourself, and to be treated as a valuable and important person. Yes, I believe some therapy might have helped you finding the path which would be best for you.
If your question was about the therapy for your boyfriend, I don't know, it strongly depends on what he wants to do.
@orangeKitten3367,
put down boundaries. Whenever this happens, tell him like "I don't accept this behavior, you can talk to me when you've eased down" and walk away.
He needs to work on his anger bouts.
@orangeKitten3367
That treatment is unacceptable. Anytime a relationship is hot and cold and you feel like you are on edge all the time there needs to be a complete change or complete break..... therapy only works as well as he would put effort in to .... you can not change him ....only you and how you respond to his anger fits.
Maybe you feel you should give it a chance since you regret being intimate with this person. If the relationship continues you may feel like it was not a mistake. Being your first does not mean you are stuck with this person and hopefully you will see that .... do not let ideas of it meaning more and you have to stay.
