Torn between my "chosen family" and supporting my boyfriend

I feel like I've hit a crossroads between supporting my boyfriend and having a social life of my own. 

There's a bit of backstory here, so I apologise if it's a long read. Skip to the end if you just want the "where we are now".

Firstly, about me: I've always struggled with being social. It's never come natural to me. So when I moved to my current town eight years ago, I made the active decision to do something about it. I sat down to learn social norms, I found local communities and organisations where I could attend events and volunteer. It's worked out really well, and I've even been a board member for one of these organisations for some years. It's been like a second, chosen family to me, and I'm passionate about the work we do for the community.

Secondly, about him: My boyfriend hasn't had an easy childhood. He hasn't felt supported by his family, and he's experienced bullying at school for a long time. Whenever he's brought up a need or asked for support from his family, he's quickly been dismissed. He still struggles with this, and has a hard time trusting and relying on people - me included.

Thirdly, the story itself: Over a year ago, I brought my boyfriend to an party my organisation held. At the party, my boyfriend and one of the other board members came into a (from my view) small conflict. At the time, I really didn't think much of it, and we even went to an afterparty where this other board member also was. 

A week later, my boyfriend is really riled up about the conflict. The other board member had wronged him, and it had affected my boyfriend more than I first realised. If I had known, I'd have intervened at the party.

We decide to write a formal complaint to the organisation's board, hoping they will handle the case. That was the start of a long and tedious process. The board did not take it too seriously, and my boyfriend became more and more frustrated. He ended up doing a public post on social media about the whole thing (no names, though).

Eventually the whole thing started to settle down (I thought). The organisation had its yearly general assembly back in march, and my boyfriend made some proposals to consolidate the organisation and help ensure there's no repeat of what had happened. He met a lot of resistance - and to be fair the proposals themselves weren't that thought through. A member of the organisation and another board member, openly insulted not just his proposals, but him directly. They essentially called him stupid.

Since I'm still a board member, I promised my boyfriend I'd continue working for his proposals. While the proposals themselves weren't great, the ideas behind them were really good, and could help the organisation move forward.

When I came home from the first board meeting after the general assembly, I told him it went really well - everyone seemed on board with working in the direction of his proposals - it seemed like everything was working out in the end.

Que a few days later... my boyfriend says he can't see us continuing to be together if I continue as a board member. We have a long talk, and eventually I agree to start stepping down; handing over tasks and responsibilities to the others. At that time, I thought it was the right thing to do - to support my boyfriend unconditionally.

Now for the dilemma at hand: A few months have passed. I've almost handed over all my tasks in the organisation, and I haven't attended meetings or events there for months. And I feel lonely.

I feel like I've cut myself off from the social life I'd struggled so hard to build. I feel like I've abandoned my chosen family. I feel like I've stopped doing the volunteer work I was passionate about. And lastly, I feel I've neglected my responsibility as an elected board member of the organisation.

In short: I want to come back and resume as a board member and a part of the community in general.

But I'm afraid it'll be at the cost of my relationship and the man I love. I want to support my boyfriend, because I know it's been really hard for him. This whole affair has more or less pulled out every bit of trauma from his childhood. But it's starting to become at the expense of myself.

I could really use a fresh perspective