To whoever is going through the same thing

I wrote this poem after I finally realised that my “perfect ex” isn’t actually so “perfect”

title: “I deserve better”

“you deserve better” was the most repeated words said to me ever since you left and everyone from my therapist to my grandma thought this is what suits the outcome best.

see, of course I didn’t listen, god you even said it yourself but i really I didn’t feel any suspicion.

that was because your other words kept repeating in my brain.

“oh I still love you, jelly. I just don’t want to cause you any pain” you…will…always…love…me?

”oh I still have feelings for you, I just can’t stay here hurt you and remain” you..still…have..feelings?

”and all the good memories were true love, I just can’t lie to you and say they’ll stay the same” memories…of…our…true…love??

it sparked the little last hope of us coming back together, so even when you left coldly without turning I didn’t think “I deserve better”

I thought I deserved you, and you’d come back soon realising there is nothing we can’t get through, but the phrase kept repeating from person to person and as days pass and you didn’t come back, it’s like I got slapped in the face, and was finally certain.

you won’t be back, someone who loves me wouldn’t do that.

im aware now why you wanted to sugarcoat the breakup with words ever so sweet, yes you didn’t want to hurt me but deep down you didn’t want to hurt yourself, and I understand that because I wouldn’t forgive me too if I were you myself.

so when I told you about all the effort I did to keep you to stay, you coldly replied “I didn’t ask you to do all that” but that’s ok..

you didn’t ask me to do all that but I did it anyways because I came into your life to show you how true unconditional love should be portrayed. Something for you to keep, feel, and always embrace.

”I deserve better” there I said it loud and clear.

I deserve someone who wouldn’t disappear.

someone who would love me for me and would fight any hardships to keep us as “we”

I deserve someone who wouldn’t feel obligated to give me love, they would give it to me because I am all they could think of.

someone true and doesn’t lie, someone who would keep each promise until they die.

someone that tries to keep me happy even if the days were gloomy and gray, and I deserve someone who if they truly love me…they’ll stay.

Thank you for reading! I’m a beginner in poetry!!!